There's nothin' there. The closest town, Tulsk? Has about two hundred people. Most people about don' speak English, but that's not really a problem. Every October all sorts of freakshow nutbags turn up wantin' to see the Gates of Hell, which is what the missionaries called Cruachan, which was on the back of me fam's farm.

The most excitin' thing to ever come out of that fuckin' hill was a rabid badger, one year.