You couldn't help cause you're part of it, Larry. You don't fuckin' get it, fuck's sake. I live a fuckin' double life every goddamn day, in and out in and fucking out people think I'm a crook people think I got somethin' to hide. People who can't know I'm a cop.

[He emphasizes the word just for Lawrence Dimick, to remind him what Freddy Newendyke is.]

When my head went out the damn window I started forgettin' what's what. I just, I didn't know what I fuckin' needed. [Here he waves a hand at the old man.] You, you always know exactly what you want, you want fucking answers, you want me to tell you I'm seeing a shrink like I don't need one, like I'm just fine in some charming fucked up way.

Get this through your fucking head, I never had to live like this before.