orangetoughguy | log post II

Sit still.

[Gun drawn, the old man will lean a bit to investigate. Not enough to tip the boat one way or the other.]

Don't see anything. So it can't be big. [Optimism talk, he'll do more of that, yes indeed. That is until another bump.]

But the oar in the water, we'll row away.

[Which shouldn't be a problem....hopefully.]

Keep calm.

[When Larry leans over the water stays perfectly placid. Misleading. Freddy does the same on his side but not a single ripple stirs...which only raises his own suspicion.]

Okay.

[He listens as Mr. Orange does to Mr. White, oar going back in slowly, carefully. Freddy gives the thing a solid but even paced row--SNAP. The kid almost loses his grip on the thing.]

Fuck! It's got the oar!

[SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP.]

[The safety is off, Larry stands as steadily as he can and opens fire. Steady aim to prevent any holes in the boat. Fuck wouldn't that be a nightmare.]

Let it go!

[To Freddy and their aquatic fiend, whoever is gonna listen first.]

[Freddy here thinks he's yelling at the fiend so he keeps his hand on the oar but whoever the fiend is--aside from being shot at--it's also a strong contender. Fortunately it also has a sense of self-preservation so without a second to lose suddenly it lets go of the oar, sending one kid toppling into an old man. In the boat. Not overboard please. Freddy's a pile of...something and an oar between Larry's legs where he's perfectly comfortable hiding--er, defending him.]

..........

[SNAP SNAP SNAP. The large turtle yawns at the pair, discouraged but not about to leave without giving some kind of turtle claw for the bird.]

[This is what you get for not being specific. When the kid flings back, he has to cease fire for fear of shooting someone else as well as the boat. Speaking of the boat it's tilting dramatically far back and then forward. All that surprising ability to be light on his feet make Dimick make the most of his arms above and fight for balance as it tips so that they can see the fiend.

Holy shit.

[All that for a fucking turtle.]

That's it?

Holy shit.

[Is there an echo echo echo? Note though the oar has remained in the boat, the paddle end has some obvious bitemarks. Note Freddy's arms are still wrapped around Larry's legs one way or another.]

That's a big fuckin' turtle.

[Please go away now, turtle. The craggy shell appears to be drifting along, away from the pair.]

[Echo or not the proof is in the water. Steady breathing, steady the fucking boat. His brow furrows as he keeps scanning the water to see if that fucking thing is going o head back.

Any takers? Any?

Uh huh.]

Goddamn.

[Slowly, in case the tilting isn't done with, he wipes his brow.]

It's leaving.

[And you should know that only because he's holding onto Larry's- leg. That is if he wants to let go now too, no yelling needed.]

[Just give the kid a moment to process the entire reality of what just happened here. He's processing, he's processing, he's...slapping his palm on Larry's knee.]

Did you see the size of that motherfucker? How come we can't catch somethin' like that.

[I dunno, Freddy, maybe cause that motherfucker would snap your line in addition to snapping off your fingers? Well at least it missed getting shot, otherwise the kid would feel bad for it. Who knows though, it probably has shrapnel in its hardened tank for a shell.]

[Woah, woah, hey. Larry grips Freddy's shoulder for balance if he's gonna go slapping his knee. It wasn't expected. Though the contact, not going to fib here, he likes.]

We'd need something to catch it with for one. And for two, something to put it in and three what the fuck do we do with it when it's caught.

[You know, practicality? Details like that need to be considered ahead of time though Larry didn't think at all about a threat in the water. Back home there weren't things like that to put a damper on the trip.

Now he's really looking over the water from where he stands.]

I dunno.

[Great answer, Newendyke. Oh yeah, he knocks on Larry's leg again.]

Sit down before you fall out.

Hey, would you quit it or I will.

[Sitting means you gotta let go, kid. Besides, he's still gripping on Freddy's shoulder pretty tightly.]

[Oh. Right. Freddy dusts that pants leg knee off a bit before letting go so Larry can sit.]

At least the oar survived.

[A pat to the head of that solid anchor, then he sits.]

Good to know. Let's get the fuck out of here.

[Onward to somewhere else.]

Where to?

[He's asking because, well, isn't it obvious Larry's the Captain of this ship? And it's too hard to keep in, the kid looks amused. He's trying not to laugh at it all.]

A little more civilization. Animals keep away from that.

[Except for Jaws. Something. Fuck, man. Larry is getting out a cigarette before taking up the other oar.

Of course, moving the oar around and standing in the fucking boat has the old man's shirt a little wet.]

Okay. Let's find one of those buildings.

[The ones that look like even after the curse that's exactly how they're supposed to be. Venetian. Wouldn't that make a great Vegas casino? Freddy should market his ideas. He starts rowing.]

When I was workin' patrol we got this call out to Sun Valley, to a trailer park. We didn't have much to go on except the guy livin' there wasn't answering the door or the landlady's calls. She went to check it out but stopped dead in her tracks when she caught the smell.

[Yeah Freddy because a story like that after Jaws and a snapping turtle is so comforting.]

Cool by me.

[Anywhere but here.That's what he cares about. It could be a gas station for all Larry cares about. And no, it's not because he's scared or nothing. Put that idea right out of your mind if it is even there at all.]

No body noticed the mail piling up?

[Unless Jaws is in the living room, then yes it is comforting. Could have been yet another victim of the land-shark.]

Trailer park. [Freddy says like it's the only explanation anybody needs.] So we go in, you know the drill. "Buddy open the door!" But there's no answer and you can smell this thing from the outside. We get the landlady to open the place up, guns dawn and everything, it's dark cause the sun's goin' down and we're calling out to the guy 'cept there ain't anyone inside.

Me and my partner hear this [Freddy sounds a hssssssssssss.] Just one after the other. The guy collected exotic snakes. Big ones. The bastards are everywhere.

My partner, he was a boot. [The unspoken part is "more a boot than I was."] He starts doin' this dance all over the place, "Newendyke! Newendyke! Freddy! Newendyke! Do something!" Like what the fuck am I supposed to do I'm not a snake wrangler.

[Must have been one of those trailer parks where no body cares what anyone else does. So, probably not too many old women. Correction, bored old women.]

Holy shit. How many were in there? What the fuck did you do?

[Obviously not wrangle the snakes. Though curious to see officers try and handle snakes.]

Do you think they ate the bastard?

I think it was twelve, I don't remember the number, something like four rattlesnakes and a couple a vipers though. One monitor lizard.

[He waves a hand because the number doesn't matter. It was probably smaller than he remembers but felt bigger at the time. As for what the fuck he did, well.] I don't think they ate the bastard, I know they did. See the boot couldn't handle it he danced his way back out, well someone had to clear the place to make sure the guy was there, see if anyone else was hurt, what if someone let those snakes out to get'im you know? I go in with my gun drawn up but I'm lookin' all over the floor, at the shelves and shit because I didn't want one of those motherfuckers flying at my face.

I get to the bathroom and there's the guy in his tub with a fuckin' snake in his lap and a big fuckin' lizard all over his head. Eating it. DOA.

Why in the hell would anyone want to own a fucking zoo like that?

[Emphasis on the types of animals. All those lizards. He shakes his head.]

Dogs would at least wait until they're fuckin' starving to eat you I hear. But damn. Those things they're cold blooded, that's how they are. They don't even know who's the boss.

[As for the bathroom discovery Larry stops rowing to look Freddy in the face in shock.]

Beats me. [The profiler said a couple things about lizard lovers but not much Freddy can care to remember. That's why he works robbery and narc though, the lizard thing...that's the stuff serial killers are made of. Er, is Larry looking at him funny?]

What? I didn't tell'em to get rid of the evidence.

[That's a joke, honestly. He can remember clear as a bright sun shiney day in Beverly Hills how he got yelled at for trampling the crime scene. Even though really no crime occurred.]

[Is he a sick fuck for laughing? Because Larry's laughing. The shark bullshit that was unbelievable, this is a little up there too.]

You sure you don't have command lizards? One of your friends in the water mighta been listening.

[Is there a super hero that only talks to lizards? There's a thought. Though he knows for a fact that's not Freddy's super power. Oh no.]

[Somewhere down the waterways a gondola floats by carrying rather fancy looking patrons. He pays them no mind, why pay attention to anyone else when Freddy can lift a brow curiously at Larry.]

Do I look like a lizard guy to you?

[The answer should be 'no' because the kid far prefers warm blooded creatures...like dogs and bears.]

[This reminds the old man of the movies. Except usually the peace is disrupted by gunfire or some kind of explosion or car chase.

Or romance.]

Lemme take another look at you.

[One side, the other side. Nope. Just the stately slope of his nose, floppy hair.]

Nope. I guess not. Don't look like a fish man either.

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