orangetoughguy | log post II

I don't wanna fuck anything up, Larry. That's all. I don't wanna fuck up.

[Or be a fuck up. Forehead to forehead he half-lids his green gaze, incapable of shaking off this feeling of fear that they're on a precipice and Freddy has to make a decision that could change both their lives drastically.

Like that hasn't already happened with Black Magic Woman and the like.]

You're not gonna, not with me.

[Be it the old man's presence making it work or the fact that Freddy can't truly fuck up what they have. Larry's still around right now.]

We don't have to leave. No one says we gotta.

[He knows somehow that if he said anything, made a definite decision the kid would go with it. It's not fair to pass the decision making here and there.]

Just know no matter what goes down, it won't change how I feel about you. Ain't that what really counts?

A part of me says we gotta, the responsible part. The selfish part says stick to your guns and stay here.

['Here' and 'guns' being not a place but a person. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who that person is, does it?]

Yeah, it counts. Alot. [Freddy nods once, twice.]

Responsible to who? To what?

[Because it seems like no one else is paying too much mind to these to men standing close to the water he threads his fingers into Freddy's hair.]

I feel selfish either way. We go and I'm going to hit the pavement. Make no mistake I'll see you whenever however, [considering that he'll want to stay on that straight and narrow...he's a cop after all] it'll be a life on the road.

[Larry licks his lips before continuing] ...if we stay, I have you unconditionally.

You won't have fuckin' metal birds and shit coming after you or weird days when you wake up feelin' like a tea pot cause that's what you are.

[He shakes his head. Who knows if Freddy is really complaining about bizarre curses or not. Harpies and whatever are the price they pay for this life, separation too at least for the kid. They may not be on the best of terms but a part of him doesn't want to have left his family and friends without at least saying goodbye. Goodbye before driving off into the sunset with Lawrence Dimick. It could be the best mistake of his life. Maybe they aren't ready to go (yet) but now he has to say it. Freddy runs his other hand down Larry's chest.]

I'm sorry about your friends. [Mainly, he means Joe.]

I won't think nothing of getting my car towed or noisy people in the next room after all this.

[Try and make light of it, try to not let it be as big and intimidating as this all comes to be. It's what tough guys do. Even when he's trying to crack a smile it's not lasting as long as he means to.

He swallows. What does it all mean now? Brown eyes drop to follow his hand as it lingers down. Those words, why does he have to say those words? Larry opens his mouth to speak and promptly closes his mouth. The kid gets a nod.]

[That actually gets a laugh out of Freddy, soft and brief but a laugh nonetheless. After all this maybe they'll better appreciate the daily grind of a place like Los Angeles, New York City, Chicago.

As for his words, he has to say them because they're part of a reality they've managed to push back in favor of living this one. No Cabots, no Holdaways, why even bother thinking it? But Freddy knows, Larry ought to know, they can't just ignore it either. Too many damn elephants, birds, whatever, in the room. He can't let the nod go unanswered too so with no one else around the kid leans up to place a firm kiss along the side of the old man's strong jaw.]

Wanna keep driving along?

[It's not quite code but it could be; want to keep hitting the pavement with me?]

[Freddy didn't know Joe the way that Larry did. Somehow he wishes that he could have even a little. Then he would somehow understand some extent of how he feels. It's harder to ignore. And there's a thick bitter feeling in his throat. It's soothed by that kiss.]

Yeah. You said you wanted to see the whole place.

[There are things to do here. Shit to work out. First thing being the motorcycle ride around the island.]

[Freddy is kind of glad he didn't know Joe as much as he could have, the better to not have to saddle so much guilt. That's the selfish part talking. After the kiss he leans back and nods again.]

I do. [Again.] You can drive if you want.

[It's not a pity offer in the least. Even Freddy Newendyke has to admit he likes having Larry Dimick in the driver's seat too. Sometimes.]

You sure? I haven't handled a lady like Christie Love before.

[Shit. That's what you call trust. The bike is new.]

Sure you don't mind? It ain't like a horse or a car.

[He's kidding.]

If you break her you're payin' for her hospital bill.

[That's the only warning Larry gets as he dangles the key out for the big old bear to take in his big old paw. It's hardly a real warning though evident in the way Freddy gives a little smile.]

Ouch. Tough love. I won't lay a scratch on her, Pop. Promise.

[He gives a sheepish, shit eating smile for all he's worth taking those dangling keys into his big paw.]

It'll be a nice and easy ride then right back on home.

[To the apartment. That is the extent of the message that he's got from it all. And that's okay. It's standing on the edge, assessing the distance before the jump then heading back to make sure they're good and ready. Yeah, that's it.]

[Freddy gives Larry a look.] She can handle way more than nice and easy.

[Just saying. She's got the kid's magic touch after all.]

I wanna start out nice and easy.

[Larry pulls away slowly but not breaking away from that look.]

Kind of like getting her a drink and telling you that you like her dress before getting a feel for the rest of the night.

Yeah I've heard that one before, you like her dress better on the floor.

[Freddy waves a hand, still playing the skeptic to Larry's casanova.]

Sure that's where I picture it but you can't tell a girl that before you see it on the floor. All in the timing, see?

[Slow walk to the bike, no rush.]

I'd tell her she looks good, ask her how she likes the place.

[Freddy's turn to sit bitch too, so, best ease into it. Only polite.]

Sounds like you didn't know a lot of easy girls in your time.

[A shrug, as if Freddy did, ahem. Taking his helmet he slips it on before climbing over the bitch seat like it's no thing, because it isn't. Something about building the bike with your bare hands and knowing ultimately she's yours makes riding bitch for the afternoon no big deal.]

No. [To put it simply. Larry fits his helmet on.] I knew some. There are benefits to treating them like ladies.

[Freddy one ups the old man in that way. To be honest he's looking forward to being held by those arms knowing that for a few more days everything will be the same as it has for a few months.]

I didn't say you don't have to treat'em like ladies. You know these days some of'em might get offended over it. She drops her skirt, you tell her she don't gotta, she tears you a new asshole for actin' like you said she can't be horny cause she's a woman.

[Not that Freddy knows this from experience either...not that many experiences anyway. Arms go around that thick torso now.]

Sounds like a man who's been around the block.

[Say, what kind of women has Freddy been involved with? He has wondered from time to time. Any that talk like that from a woman and all the time spells trouble.

Vroom, vroom says Christie Love. He gives Freddy's arm a pat.]

Enough to know which neighborhoods I oughta stick to.

[He replies over the sound of the engine. It's an offhand remark, something the kid thinks is a witty retort that just happens to be way close to the truth. Whether Freddy realizes it or not.]

log post II

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