orangetoughguy | log post II

[The immediate response is to ask if Larry thinks he's stronger than Freddy but he knows better, he knows that isn't what the old man means. Right? So this dog manages to hold his tongue and get his hackles back down.]

I get it, Larry. [Give up, Newendyke. He's not gonna open up. Maybe it serves you right for being a shit when it came to the cross in your room. Just when Freddy's about to let the matter go though (for tonight) he hears Larry and green eyes look up once more. Warmer caramel green.]

Nothing's gonna change what I know about you, man. Unless you're like an axe murderer or somethin'. [That's a joke, Larry. If he'd been paying attention to the network maybe he's get it too.]

[Freddy is steel, still bright and silvery from the factory. What other man would go undercover and deal with Mr. Blonde types? Those warm caramel green eyes, he can't say no to them. Not for long. It's not worth hurting the kid.]

It's not gonna be comin' out all at once. But I'll tell you, kid.

[Because he deserves it. The more of a fuss Dimick makes of it, the more he can see that he's letting it take a hold of him, stand between em. It doesn't miss his attention that this could be his crucifix on the wall.]

Axes aren't my thing, remember? [Joking right back though the enthusiasm isn't there.]

I'm sorry, baby.

[Larry hasn't even shared anything else yet and Freddy already feels like his tail could be fucking wagging. Either he's that easy to please or he's that relieved the old man isn't as mad at him anymore for taking advantage of his teenage self. Wag wag wag fucking wag. Wait don't give in so fucking easily, Newendyke. Real men don't slobber for attention. Real men play stupid and stay angry and ignorant.]

I'm sorry, I got mad. Just...sometimes. [He swallows and takes another step forward.] Sometimes you drive me up the fuckin' wall.

[Paws are eagerly reaching for that older face complete with deeper lines around his eyes, across his forehead, framing his mouth. A mouth he wants to kiss. It doesn't escape Freddy's notice, that maybe Lawrence Dimick also grew older faster than most kids had to. How long was it before that bright shiny seventeen lost its polish or had it always been slowly slowly tarnishing?]

I drive you up the wall?

[Now that's some funny shit. Still not worth laughing out loud. Damn he loves to be in these hands at any age. Larry leans so that they can touch lips. Two tails are wagging. It's a relief that he didn't put Freddy off too much.]

We're crazy period.

[Paws ruffle his longer hair. Should they spring into everything now? Unfortunately, he's sure if he lets it slide once it'll keep going. Both muscular arms go around Freddy and ease them onto the couch.]

The first place I stayed at, I was with five other kids. A much older lady and her grown daughter took care of us. The lady didn't know much English, we stayed with her the most. Her daughter was the moneymaker.

Yeah you do.

[Wanna make something of it? That's the dare implied in his tone but it's still in better humor, it's endearing. Shit everything he fucking does these days is endearing to Freddy Newendyke, from the way he rolls his dice to the way he folds his fucking laundry. He's got it bad for the old man.]

Were they nice to you?

[Eased onto the couch--making sure the comic book is on the table so they don't squash it--the kid's hands are working to remove whatever it is Larry's wearing. It's not because he's getting horny (yet), he just wants to see that wildcat clawing up a thick forearm. It's one of the memorable differences between the older man and the teenager. Whereas Freddy could see the beginnings of these features that make a Lawrence Dimick there was no indication of a panther at all.]

Fine then.

[No, he wants it to stay that way. They've been at it for the better part of a year now. It hasn't been perfect and they've had their troubles like any other couple. Larry wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Comic book check with one hand. Thank God has two. One to stay on Freddy at least until he needs to shrug the shoulders off of his coat. Nothing but a simple white button down is underneath that. The wildcat is a sleeve roll away.]

As nice and welcoming as they could be. A lotta mouths to feed, they didn't do me no wrong though I missed my Uncle and my parents. Didn't quite hit me what was goin' on until the agency said they found me a place. Then another one and another one.

[Easing into it, bit by bit.]

[If it's just a sleeve roll away then Freddy's rolling rolling rolling, up until he can stroke the black feline like it might purr under his touch. Somehow this means the kid's in his lap, if not that then sitting sideways right up against him so his legs are draped over Larry's thighs.]

Ramblin' man.

[That's you, Lawrence Dimick. Maybe not so much anymore though since they've got this place to themselves. He wants to ask about Larry's first time, with a boy (a man) but he won't. The old man will get to it when he wants to get to it, now that he knows the kid will listen, unafraid.]

[The kid's got prime property in Larry's lap for all time. Draping, fucking, whatever he's welcomed to stay there. And he notes the attention to his tattoo, flexing and relaxing accordingly.]

The third place was the woman with her fucking prized cats. I must have been there a half a year. Then I was in a colored folks family. It'd have been better if I didn't become a brother of some brothers. They didn't take kindly to me being in their home, elbowing in. Like it wasn't tough enough. The father was a gorilla and went to town on about everyone, blowing a gasket treating his family like trash. ...He wasn't the one I was talking about though.

[It's easier to say this so damn close to Freddy, kinda quiet below the music. ]

I thought I was some stony big shot because I got knocked up side the head a few times. It was nothing.

[He said 'colored', sometimes it's moments like this one that remind him Larry really is a different generation. When Freddy was a kid the people who said 'colored' were all the grown ups, Larry practically lived in civil rights while Freddy was toddling around as people got assassinated. He also hasn't forgotten that conversation in Eddie's car and subsequent conversations afterward. Mr. White has a fondness for black women, black men however can kiss his ass. Is this when it began? Does Larry know how much Freddy loves origin stories? Swamp Thing's reinvention by a certain snake worshipper is sitting on the table.]

Maybe not a big shot but you're one fuckin' tough guy.

[The kid remarks quietly, close to his jaw and still pawing the tattoo.] Do you wanna tell me more? [Can I hear more?] Do you wanna talk about Vickie? [Did you really like her? Did you want to like her?]

[Is it bad that he thinks nothing of it? It's what he's used to saying. Of course Larry isn't ignorant of the change from one terminology to another, it doesn't stick though. Recounting the years in his head, when he was on his way to being a man, Freddy was working on becoming a boy. Fucking funny world they live in.]

Tough kid having it out with anybody.

[Not a discouraging word yet, though honestly he would not expect one after the talk. And the questions that are asked really aren't a fuss. He is so fucking lucky every which way. Larry moves splaying his legs a little, leaning farther back into the cushions. That arm bearing his old ink is surrendered into the kid's hands.]

Vickie. Heh. [Freddy loves a story too.] She went to my school. I wasn't sure what to make of her wanting to be around all the time, though it didn't take me long. She'd doll herself up, you know? So we were everywhere together. Holdin' hands first. That was what was okay for the most part.

[Once surrendered he's not getting it back. Well okay not entirely, but Freddy is really into having that arm at the moment. He works from stroking the inked feline to pressing his lips against it starting at the tip of the tail and working upward to its fangs.]

How old was she? Was she pretty? [He wonders if Larry's ever dated a young black girl or are those different from black women too?]

[That kinda tickles. Not enough to say so but enough to keep the edges of his mouth upturned. Would the kid ever get a tattoo? Larry tries to imagine what and where for a moment. Probably somethin' out of a comic book.]

She was fifteen. Her hair was a chocolate brown and she always wore it up in a ponytail, all the time. Was she pretty? Well, she kinda looked like Natalie Wood except her eyes were smaller and had more to speak of in the nose department.

[Speaking of which he lightly grabs Freddy's between his thumb and forefinger. It's for just a second then he lets go.]

We had a good time, Vickie and I. Her daddy didn't like me. See...he used to be a cop.

[Don't. Grab. The bill. No actually it's okay but Freddy still swats at Larry's hand anyway because seriously, it's not a small nose in the least. Grabbing it like that just reminds him how biggish it is.]

Officer Dads are pretty rough I hear. [He remarks idly. A tattoo on Freddy Newendyke? He wouldn't know where to begin, too many signs and symbols he loves, more equally than one over the other.] He ever find out you made daddy's little girl a woman?

[Freddy likes a little danger to his stories too.]

[Truce? He plants a peck on that bill. Is there any super hero that's got an L symbol? Probably not, and it isn't a good idea either for tempting fate and being obvious. Besides, the kid's got a brand on the old man and it's one only he can see and feel...so it's gotta be the other way around. Speaking of marked...]

That's the biggest reason why he didn't like me. Oh man. That was that when he found out. I think it was the chump that had the hots for her in school, he put two and two together. And uh...maybe we were more obvious than we shoulda been.

[Freddy must know the old man's guilty smile by now.]

There I was, layin' on her bed and we're not even doing anything. She's doin' her homework, a regular fucking angel. I'm keeping her company. Out of the blue bang the door opens and her old man is standing there the veins about busting out of his face and neck.

[A peck? Freddy gives a quirk of his brow for it but hell he knows how Larry operates so even a peck--the kind a man would give to a girl--is endearing. Besides, it's for his nose. The kid bets his nose is way bigger than Vickie's.]

You like to keep it loud I know. [Freddy nods then gives a shrug, finally leaving the wildcat alone but not relinquishing the arm either.]

He throw you out? Did she try to stick up for you? [Freddy fails to remember times were different back then. He wonders if the old man's ever knocked a girl up.]

[Oh it's bigger. And Larry loves it. Say isn't there a saying about big noses?]

Sure I do. And we could never have a time at her place...or mine. So we kinda had to find places of our own. [The arm isn't going anywhere, he keeps it draped near the other man in a light hold.]

First he picked me up right out of the bed and introduced me to the wall. He had himself some hard words, the usual you know? Dirty scum can't keep your hands to yourself. I felt like he was lifting me up by my skin to throw me out the door. He said if I ever came near his daughter again I'd be behind bars.

[The irony.]

Vickie attempted in her way, old man Flagler didn't even give her the space. I knew she was in for it and not just handing over her purity ring.

Ouch. Hard time.

[The irony doesn't escape him but Freddy won't bring it up either. Little by little, Larry can tell him whatever he wants in pieces. He won't guilt the other man into giving him a fucking epic novel. He doesn't want to be that kind of guy.]

You told me about the locker rooms. [Freddy sits up a little straighter to look green eyes at brown ones.] Anything I ever did or anything I might do I don't want it to be like that. Even by accident, Larry.

[He hasn't forgotten getting decked into the shower wall for putting his hands around Larry's throat.]

I shoulda known. I mean, the first time me and her pop shook hands he gave me this look. No words attached justa kinda look. [One that he tries to mimic, frowning dramatically. His face relaxes in the next moment.] Something like that.

[Those green eyes get him every time.] The locker rooms. [That was about seventeen wasn't it?] I come a long way since then. [I'm not that sensitive.]

I know the look.

[Freddy nods twice. What young boy doesn't? It's the perk (burden) of being a man in this free world. When those brown eyes look at him he feels a little guilty, for everything. For giving in to a willing seventeen year old, for using that against the pleasing forty-two year old, for not letting go of the fact that Lawrence Dimick can have a cold and vicious edge in addition to his warmth. Just, what are you doing, Newendyke? The Church is going on about the milky way on the stereo, telling him they wish he knew what he was looking for.]

You don't gotta tell me anything, Larry. [What a way to send mixed messages, kid. Now he feels even more like an idiot. Make a scene then retreat, that's what you do, Freddy.]

[The Chesterfield flavored sigh ruffles some of that blonde brown hair. What is he going to do with Freddy Newendyke?

I know. [His paws lay on the kid.] You're not like that. You never use my wants against me. [And as much as those pin-ups might have got the other man hot under the collar, it was something they could talk out. Right?]

Guess my deal is that I'm not used to getting a chance to talk about it, reflect on shit without it ending in fists. That's not how I was raised...but don't think that means I'm not gonna try.

[No he doesn't use his wants against him...most of the time. The context is totally different when Freddy does use them to his advantage and usually it benefits both kid and old man. So everyone's happy, right? Those paws feel so good on him. Just sitting here on Larry like this is satisfying.]

I could tell. [Freddy says, he doesn't mean to be flippant either. It's just a remark and the casualness of it all means it's okay in his book, that Larry wasn't raised to talk it out. Hell neither was Freddy and something both of them have in common was the need to have someone to talk to as boys.] You still turned out alright, Larry.

[Freddy doesn't have a tattoo to paw so he'll roam wherever. Through his hair, down his chest. There's no purpose to it. Just the joy of intimacy.]

Thanks. [Turned out alright for a criminal? Not that he'd say the kid is a liar by any stretch.] You know, coming out of you that means something. [Paws eventually come to sit in his lap, laying on and next to flappy hands.]

I didn't get on your nerves, I hope. I was a dope. [Yeah, yeah now he can venture there. Except how dopey could he have been when he got fucked well and good?]

[Floppy hair, flappy hands, freckled shoulders, Larry's invited to touch whatever the hell he wants in this kid's book. As for turning out alright for a criminal, yeah that's the case, because Freddy's privy to the man's history and having been with him for this long even this copper can tell that criminal does have a sense of ethics, even honor. He curls his hands over Larry's to feel those thicker fingers between his own.]

Don't sweat it. [Yeah downplaying the sincerity here but Larry knows how much he appreciates it too, right?]

And you weren't a dope, man. You were pretty cute. [Yes, cute.] You know how some people say "He will never have a girlfriend." before that dorky teenager grows up to be motherfuckin' Clint Eastwood? Well you sure didn't have that problem.

[Thick, rough tipped fingers curl around lean, animated Freddy fingers.]

No problem. Thought you should know. [In case he didn't already, in case he never has a chance to say it. The old man has a hunch that the kid needs to hear shit like this. The good, the bad...as long as it's true.]

I had girlfriends for one. [He. Said. Cute. Larry's insulted and enchanted all at once.] ...so I wasn't bad lookin'.

No shit, you coulda fooled me.

[Freddy replies because it's so obvious Larry doesn't take to having his younger self being called cute. Too bad for Lawrence Dimick it's true and he dares anyone to argue him on it. Just fucking look at the cub. The older bear's no laughing matter too of course, especially with all those fully developed muscles. Nevermind the minor touch of good eating developing around his middle.]

You coulda had an odd boy or two too. [It's Freddy's way of saying if they were in high school together Larry could have easily had him.]

log post II

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