orangetoughguy | log post II

Maybe tomorrow.

[Watch it again. This time paying more attention to detail. Speaking of detail though he doesn't bat a fucking eye at Freddy calling it rewind. That's what it is, ain't it? It's gotta work like a turntable in there since it's round.]

Yeah? I thought they were saying shit. You know the Alamo really happened. Folks remember that.

[The old man is on his feet to avoid any physical harm for that one.]

Want another beer?

[........Freddy actually gives Larry a look but the old man is out of reach before he can give him a shove. Fff.]

Yeah yeah, throw me a Corona.

[After a movie like that a Corona with lime sounds like a good chaser. Now he looks around the place, finally he's able to pay attention to something other than abdominal muscles.] Sam. [A short whistle.] Hey buddy, you want grapes?

[Silence. Not even a croak. Normally the toucan would be swooping right in for the G-word.]

Sure thing.

[Clink, clink of empty bottles and cans. Hum de dum to the fridge he goes. After seeing all that young rippling flesh the old man will pass up on another beer but will get the Corona and lime.]

You know I'm starting to think that he's getting fat.

[The bird. Not the kid. Larry's slicing up that lime now.]

You don't get fat on fruit.

[Freddy says like a true spoiling pet owner skeptic. Of course he's not one to talk, being lean on a diet of who knows what out of the can. Larry's not so bad either even with a minor spare something such left over from the winter. With the amount of muscle he has who cares to quibble? Not this kid.]

Hey Sam? Sam? [He's peering over the couch, under the table, in the usual bird's favored places.] Where are you, dude?

You get fat on eating a lot don't you? I mean, I'm not a nutritionist or nothing.

[That's what Larry tells himself. See though, he gets hungry so what do you do when you're hungry? You eat. That has absolutely nothing to do with the fact what they eat, where they eat and how often. At least not with grizzly-like old men. Toucans though...]

Did you look behind you?

[Larry thinks nothing of it. The bird is wandering. It does that. He looks behind himself pausing the knife. Nope. And he doesn't feel any beady little eyes on him either. Huh.]

You ever know a guy who stayed the same shape while eatin' Boo Berry? I did.

[Freddy counters ever so casually before turning to look behind himself. Nope no Sam. No Sam staring at Larry from a corner like a vulture in waiting either. Odd. Freddy makes way for the stairs.]

I'm gonna check up here.

[A nod to the old man, then thump thump thump and he's up there. Looking. Looking. Looking... Looking. ...Looking. Looking.] Larry.

'Course you did.

[The unspoken angle to this is that Larry believes that Freddy is talking about himself. Hah. This kid.

As for the bird, no worries. It's somewhere. Okay. So the lime is sliced one rests in the Corona, the rest will go away for safe keeping.

The shouting. Oh fuck. Larry is up those stairs as fast as he can manage. Huff. Puff. Huff huff huff. Quick glance assessment no blood, no body. Excuse him while he stands there.]

[WRONG. That would be Fruit Brute, not to be confused with Froot Loops. Easy to make a mistake like that, the kid knows. Anyway upstairs now Freddy's standing in front of a partially ajar sliding glass door. How it was left open he doesn't know. How a big-billed bird managed to squeeze through the narrow space that was left open he doesn't know. All he knows is that it's open and that means someone's flown the coop.]

Sam's gone.

[That door was ajar makes the old man's heart stop. Hours ago he went out for a smoke. Looking from the door to the kid to the door again. Oh fuck. The goddamn bird had to find the only open door in the whole goddamn fucking apartment and go through it while they're home.]

Baby I'm sorry...

[The thing is gone. That he did it. Where to fucking start. Larry rubs a paw over his own forehead.]

Oh fuck.

[That bird shat diamonds and he let it escape.]

[Sorry? What for? Why the door is ajar doesn't even register with Freddy Newendyke at the moment. He's already pushing it wider to step out on the deck.] Sam.

[No bird. Not even a feather or a diamond. No one hopping on the roofs of the other apartments. Freddy pulls back into his room.] Come on.

[Whether or not he's implying he already knows Larry's responsible for the door doesn't even matter. How could Freddy lay any guilt on him when he's the one who's been lying about those fucking diamonds? They're two of a kind (sort of), it's assumed Larry won't turn him down when Freddy says:]

We're gonna look for him.

[Man. That bird better be far, far away or he'll fucking kill it for flying the coop. Yeah, old man. We'll blame the bird for what you did. He should be more careful. Then again, when did he ever share the house with a free wandering, feathery pet? Dogs can't get out of doors left open on a balcony at least dogs with brains. Fuck fuck fuck.]

You sure he's not in the bathroom? Or a closet?

[Maybe it's not his fault. Maybe. Fuck though how long ago did he go out to smoke? It could have slipped out while they were watching the bloodbath of a movie.]

We can work or way out. How many toucans can there be, you know? We'll find him.

I looked in the bathroom Larry and I checked the closet.

[Oh is that the sound of someone getting a little emotional? He even waves his hands and opens his closet wider to show the old man there's no toucan in there. Sam's got a big colorful beak, how could they miss it? At least there's still some time left for spring daylight. He's got a jacket shrugged on haphazardly.]

Come on. [You're coming. Would he refuse?]

[Please, please don't let this get this bad this fast. He gulps down a breath staring onto the closet hoping there's something in there. Nope. Jacket in hand he thinks up what else to say or do to diffuse some of the tension]

Of course. You want to go on foot?

[Or the car? At this point he'll say yes to about anything.]

...maybe we should leave out food at the balcony in case he heads back.

Maybe the car.

[That old clunker's just as loyal as a damn dog, or a horse. Freddy nods though in accepting this idea. It's not a bad one, Larry can drive. Also, that's a good idea too. Green eyes look up, mixed with anger and guilt and disappointment in himself. Even if he didn't leave the door open he wasn't paying attention, he didn't act on Sam being mysteriously silent during the film, not that it would be the first time but still. Freddy should have been paying closer attention.]

That's a good idea.

[Again he nods. His movements down the stairs are a little slower, forced from being hurried. Just keep calm and Larry on, Newendyke. He's got the right mind.]

Get the fruit. I'll get the car.

[Brown eyes roll all the way around the room from one side to the other. He should have checked. He should have said something about how quiet it was...except he was too busy enjoying it. The bird could have been sleeping. Now that the kid is out of sight he lets himself slow up putting the coat on.]

Sam. Come on, Sam. Get your ass out here.

[Nothing. Not a cluck or a chirp or whatever he does. Larry attempts to click his tongue to recreate that strange noise the toucan makes. Nothing there.

Sigh. Down stairs he goes grabbing the car keys.]

[Down down down he goes then up up up again with fruit pieces to put on the ledge. There's five individual grapes and a small cube of papaya. What good is it gonna do? What if he flies back, eats the stuff, then flies off again? What if some other bird takes the bait? The kid rolls over all these questions but in the end he leaves the fruit there before coming back to grab one of the bird's shiny playthings from his cage. It's a mini-tambourine, just the right kind of treasure for a toucan.]

Alright let's go.

[He nods to Larry, doing his best to rein in the worry written on his face and punctuated by freckles. Freddy doesn't even care how dopey he looks with the instrument.]

[Good because the old man doesn't care. They're going out to get that bird. That's exactly what's gonna happen.]

We're gonna get him.

[To be more encouraging or more certain than that does not seem fair to do at all. There's a clear hustle to his step. Would the elevator be okay big guy?]

I don't even know if he's been out in the city before, Larry. On his own? He wouldn't fly far when he was with me, how the hell does he know what he's doin'?

[Those hands and thus the tambourine are waving. Tinkle tinkle tinkle. Oh yeah the elevator is fine, hustle or no hustle he's moving in time with Larry, letting the man with the keys take the lead. At least where transportation is concerned.]

Stupid bird.

[Stupid me.]

They got instincts. Stuff in em tells them what to do. How to be.

[That's what the old man is going on right now. Instinct to keep him cold as ice. Elevator it is. Down they go.]

Your bird. We're gonna get him.

[Maybe if he says it more it'll come true.]

Yeah, my stupid bird.

[Freddy relents. He may as well stuff his hands in his pockets and kick a can across the street like some down and out movie character. Seeing as how the tambourine wouldn't fit in his pocket and there's no can nearby, he does no such thing. He sure as hell fells like it, that's all.]

I never had a pet before.

[As if Larry's already forgotten their previous conversations, he's just mentioning it again because the unspoken part is now I know why. Irresponsible Newendyke, youngest in the family with zero nurturing know how. He's getting a cigarette out.]

Uh huh. We'll have a talk with that bird about this.

[A bit of humor. Only a bit.]

He didn't run away on purpose. Little shit doesn't know what he got.

[Yeah. Don't go there kid. Larry won't let you think that an animal doesn't want to be around. That's a joke.]

Stay here. I'll bring the car around. We'll go real slow block by block.

[And stake out every fucking fruit stand all along the way..]

[That joke doesn't get a laugh but it does get a smile out of Freddy.]

Shit look at us. [Me.] Going on a search mission for a fucking animal.

[Yeah you downplay it Newendyke, you downplay it until you don't feel guilty anymore. Too bad that's impossible. The tambourine in his free hand seems more ridiculous with every passing second yet it feels like it's just gonna get heavier and heavier. He nods to Larry.] Okay.

[Puff puff. Stressed smoker's puff.]

At least until he decides to come back.

[Another careful joke. He pats the kids back with a paw, not too hard and not too long. Boy does he feel like a sorry asshole. Can't remember important shit like closing a stupid door.

Sam has to be found. Today. It can't happen if he stands around and keeps comforting the damn kid. Okay, he's on his way to the car for real. True to his word he brings it around in record time. The radio is down and the door is unlocked. Freddy's passenger window is rolled down so that he can wave that tambourine out of it.]

If he can find his way back.

[Almost he wants to say if Sam can follow his nose but the kid's heart isn't in it. He's concerned with the bird's well-being, if he might fall into the wrong hands and it'll be Freddy's fault because he didn't do something about the diamonds to begin with. What if Sam gets attacked by a cat? A dog? What if he finds a dead bird? Why does this feel different from fulfilling a missing persons call? Freddy's gone out on calls to find kids swept up by a vengeful parent or a malicious stranger. He's also seen the results of being too late. This is just a fucking toucan. But like Larry said, it's his toucan, his ward, and he failed to do what was best for Sam.]

Thanks, Larry.

[The kid says only after he makes a silent climb into the car, tambourine arm hanging out but not rattling yet. You'll have to tell the old man too eventually, Newendyke. He wants to find the bird first.]

Instincts, kid.

[Those documentaries about swallows or messenger pigeons come to mind but don't slip out of his mouth. A toucan is not an ordinary bird. And it is ridiculous to fill the kids head with things that may not be right. They'll find him one way or the other. Larry's praying for a live, ornery bird noisy and ready for food. Then Freddy'll be okay. Worrying too much on the fate of any diamonds that need to come into being take a back seat to everything else.

Since the old man's driving when he's not changing gears he rests his hand close to the kid's. Fuck he feels so bad. Could it have been hard to open his mouth and say 'damn it's quiet' during the flick?]

You can look down that way. I'll keep an eye on the road and the opposite direction.

[The radio is off to make it easier to be alert.]

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