orangetoughguy | log post II

[Shut. Up. Weasel.

Okay okay, just keep calm and carry on. Don't let him see you sweat. The sooner Pink knows Orange has no leg to stand on the easier it is for him to have the upper hand. This about Sam though you dumbass, not pride. But maintaining some level ground better ensures Pink's cooperation. Right? Shit stop holding a dialogue with yourself, Newendyke. Freddy looks over at Larry, a brief but unsure look, before he points his cigarette at Pink.]

Do you ever let your cat out? So he can fuck around in an alley or whatever?

We got reason to believe you got somethin' of ours.

[Not the apartment. And keeping the upper hand as well. This is your help kid. Larry walks around the couch. The place isn't that big. And really, the bird would not allow himself to be put somewhere. ...Alive that is. But what's Pink got against birds? He's got the cat. Birds are superior.]

Maybe the cats involved. All we wanna know is where you and that.

[The cat.]

Were all day today.

[What.]

Of course I let my fucking cat out and...

[What are you doing. Pink stares because this is fucking bizarre]

I was here. What the fuck is going on?

[He tips his head Larry's way.] What he said.

[There are some situations in which schoolyard tactics can't be avoided. Even though he's a short (for a white male) one he steps up to Pink like he's taller, like Sam is perched on top of him to give him the extra height he needs, beady eyes and big bill and all.]

My bird's missing. Your cat's been out. Do the math.

[No guns out yet though, actually Freddy here has a tambourine holstered at the small of his back so if he jingles a little, well. Yeah.]

[That was more direct than Larry was hoping. He doesn't want to think that Pink will laugh it off. But...there's a big ol' chance. Larry crosses his arms and stands closer still at a distance. The short shit's back up is in the room so maybe the answer will be slightly different.]

Like I said, tell us what we wanna know.

[Good cop in a bad mood, bad crook in good faith hoping that they can leave ASAP. That fucking cat, man. Shit.]

When did the cat go out? When did it come back?

[Silence]

Are you asking if my cat ate your fucking bird?

Answer the question Pink, cause if your cat did...

[Good job Freddy, you can't even finish that threat with I'm gonna gut the fucker. While that may be how he feels, the kid couldn't bring himself to carry out a threat on some dumb animal without provocation. Pink's just the type to call him out on that bluff.]

Look can you just..

[Aw here we go.]

Just tell us where your cat's been and if you saw Sam. Don't dick us around.

[Please, please give the kid a reason to kill the cat. If not kill make it run away and trouble someone else's life in the peripheral.]

After that we'll leave.

[Larry rubs his forehead. Just a simple answer will do, Pink. It's already more strange than it should be.]

I haven't seen your bird. Trust me, the way the cat drags in dead shit, if it had killed it, I would know.

[The cat hisses at that. They're presents, asshole]

Last time I saw your bird was when you came over and showed it off.

[Have a single finger pokin' on your chest, Pink.] You lied about hoardin' diamonds, how do I know you're not lyin' now?

[Says one rat to another. Ahem. He looks over at Larry again, he knows Pink better doesn't he? Under Joe? Then back to staring the weasel...up. Look not by much okay, it's just an inch and a half difference between them or something. Whatever, fff.]

Look. When did the cat go out last. That'd clear about everything up.

[If it was any time after the movie started then just maybe there might be a chance. Other than that, looks doubtful. As evil as that cat is Larry doubts it could make it to their place and back again. And one thing is for sure, Pink knows they're looking.

When Freddy gives him a look he lifts his eyebrows. Let's not try and split hairs or talk about liars. It's not what we wanna talk about among the three of them. Ever.]

Where would the cat put anything it put down?

[To be thorough.]

He went out this morning, came back in the afternoon. And he puts all his dead shit right where Orange is standing.

[It's the truth, damn it.]

Why would I lie about your fucking bird?

What? [Freddy looks over where he's standing. No blood, no feathers.] Bullshit.

[The time frame takes Pink's cat out of the running, assuming he's telling the truth. And yeah he's gonna split a couple hairs on liars because Sam's life could be in danger...orrrr he could be happily enjoying some bananas he stole from a supermarket who knows. As for why Pink would lie about his bird, there's only one million dollar rock answer.

But Freddy looks to Larry for consultation on whether or not they should tell the weasel. Can they trust Pink to keep an ear and eye out around pawn shops?]

Why? Because that bird's special.

[How much of his hand to tip? To say that Sam shits diamonds would make it a race to find the bird again. Then again...]

I dunno how it does it but it shits diamonds. Now, if you got anything any leads you got yourself another rock.

[There. How's that he asks with a look to Freddy.]

[Stare]

You assholes are high.

[....That's one way to do it. Cops would give a plea deal or some assurance the guy won't be arrested. But offering a diamond? On one hand it's brilliant, on the other it's a total fucking lie that Sam shits diamonds. Too bad only Freddy really knows this. The hole keeps getting deeper.]

It's true, Sam's been droppin' diamonds for almost a week. You'd see for yourself if we could find his red ass.

[There we go Newendyke, just play it straight like it is. Green eyes glance over to Larry once more, don't be fucking guilty. It's just one diamond. Overall they'd be down one single rock since Sam's been giving back the batch he ate, one by one.]

[Lawrence Dimick continues, sincere and sincere can be.]

Me, Orange and now you are the only people who know about it. We wanna keep it that way. I know it's crazy but it's true. I seen it.

[Here he is again going out on a limb to assert the kid's story. And he believes it. Eying that cat he takes a step closer to Pink.]

Do we have your word you'll let us in on anything you hear? Any consistent diamond pawning outside of yours... anything.

[There is a blank stare]

Are you morons really that fucking stupid that you let the fucking bird eat your share of the take?

[Look, there's only one way a bird shits diamonds, in Pink's opinion]

If I see your diamond shitting friend I'll tell you about it.

He changes fuckin' color, you fuck.

[Seriously why can't a color changing toucan shit diamonds?? Don't let him see you sweat, Newendyke. The kid waves a hand at Pink as if to say to Larry "See this fuckwad here?" He couldn't convince White there was a rat in the house even when the rat was bleeding right there in his arms. He'll fly under the radar again.]

Fine.

[Get out get out get out get out Newendyke. He gives one last glare at the cat before briskly making his way to the door.]

Am I sure? Motherfucker, I saw it happen.

[Oh he sees those gestures, kid. Larry shakes his head.]

Anyway. We'll keep an ear open for you.

[That fucking cat. Oh look. Freddy's moving. He more than happily follows.]

You gonna cook something?

[To fuse the cat smell.]

Toucan Sam followed his fucking nose to the diamonds.

[Morons.]

I cook most days. You asking to stay and eat after coming in here and giving me crap about the fucking bird?

Man I don't give a single fuck what your theory is. You know he's missing, you know I want him back. Just give a fuckin' phonecall if you see him.

[Too bad this time Freddy can't play dead or fuckin' dyin'. He's just gonna start up another smoke out here in the hallway.]

[Pink, in a place that's got people that are half animal half who knows the fuck and little girls with candy colored hair who fight demons or something... you gotta hold on to logic. Huh. Larry is muscling his way through anyway.]

Just a question.

[The man is a son of a bitch but can whip up nice like Betty Crocker.]

See ya round, Pink.

[Larry waves a paw at the weasel. No goodbye for you, cat.]

Yeah, good luck with that magic bird shit.

[It's a pun! Hur hur. He closes the door after they leave]

log post II

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