orangetoughguy | log post II

He went out this morning, came back in the afternoon. And he puts all his dead shit right where Orange is standing.

[It's the truth, damn it.]

Why would I lie about your fucking bird?

What? [Freddy looks over where he's standing. No blood, no feathers.] Bullshit.

[The time frame takes Pink's cat out of the running, assuming he's telling the truth. And yeah he's gonna split a couple hairs on liars because Sam's life could be in danger...orrrr he could be happily enjoying some bananas he stole from a supermarket who knows. As for why Pink would lie about his bird, there's only one million dollar rock answer.

But Freddy looks to Larry for consultation on whether or not they should tell the weasel. Can they trust Pink to keep an ear and eye out around pawn shops?]

Why? Because that bird's special.

[How much of his hand to tip? To say that Sam shits diamonds would make it a race to find the bird again. Then again...]

I dunno how it does it but it shits diamonds. Now, if you got anything any leads you got yourself another rock.

[There. How's that he asks with a look to Freddy.]

[Stare]

You assholes are high.

[....That's one way to do it. Cops would give a plea deal or some assurance the guy won't be arrested. But offering a diamond? On one hand it's brilliant, on the other it's a total fucking lie that Sam shits diamonds. Too bad only Freddy really knows this. The hole keeps getting deeper.]

It's true, Sam's been droppin' diamonds for almost a week. You'd see for yourself if we could find his red ass.

[There we go Newendyke, just play it straight like it is. Green eyes glance over to Larry once more, don't be fucking guilty. It's just one diamond. Overall they'd be down one single rock since Sam's been giving back the batch he ate, one by one.]

[Lawrence Dimick continues, sincere and sincere can be.]

Me, Orange and now you are the only people who know about it. We wanna keep it that way. I know it's crazy but it's true. I seen it.

[Here he is again going out on a limb to assert the kid's story. And he believes it. Eying that cat he takes a step closer to Pink.]

Do we have your word you'll let us in on anything you hear? Any consistent diamond pawning outside of yours... anything.

[There is a blank stare]

Are you morons really that fucking stupid that you let the fucking bird eat your share of the take?

[Look, there's only one way a bird shits diamonds, in Pink's opinion]

If I see your diamond shitting friend I'll tell you about it.

He changes fuckin' color, you fuck.

[Seriously why can't a color changing toucan shit diamonds?? Don't let him see you sweat, Newendyke. The kid waves a hand at Pink as if to say to Larry "See this fuckwad here?" He couldn't convince White there was a rat in the house even when the rat was bleeding right there in his arms. He'll fly under the radar again.]

Fine.

[Get out get out get out get out Newendyke. He gives one last glare at the cat before briskly making his way to the door.]

Am I sure? Motherfucker, I saw it happen.

[Oh he sees those gestures, kid. Larry shakes his head.]

Anyway. We'll keep an ear open for you.

[That fucking cat. Oh look. Freddy's moving. He more than happily follows.]

You gonna cook something?

[To fuse the cat smell.]

Toucan Sam followed his fucking nose to the diamonds.

[Morons.]

I cook most days. You asking to stay and eat after coming in here and giving me crap about the fucking bird?

Man I don't give a single fuck what your theory is. You know he's missing, you know I want him back. Just give a fuckin' phonecall if you see him.

[Too bad this time Freddy can't play dead or fuckin' dyin'. He's just gonna start up another smoke out here in the hallway.]

[Pink, in a place that's got people that are half animal half who knows the fuck and little girls with candy colored hair who fight demons or something... you gotta hold on to logic. Huh. Larry is muscling his way through anyway.]

Just a question.

[The man is a son of a bitch but can whip up nice like Betty Crocker.]

See ya round, Pink.

[Larry waves a paw at the weasel. No goodbye for you, cat.]

Yeah, good luck with that magic bird shit.

[It's a pun! Hur hur. He closes the door after they leave]

log post II

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