orangetoughguy | phone post

I guess that's a matter of perspective.

[He can't tell her he's not so miserable despite his busted face. He thinks about telling her this place probably bought him another good five months of living. Freddy hasn't eliminated the possibility that when they go back he's as good as dead, but an extra five months? There's gotta be a reason for that.]

Maybe she had to for her own reasons. I'm not sayin' you don't got a right to be angry or anything, I mean I'd be too, but maybe waitin' for her ain't the only reason you've been here. Would you wanna forget all of this just to go home? I mean everything from day one til now?

[Well, she would understand if he did tell her. Penny got some extra time before she left. So did Justin. For some people, their reason is clear cut. Angela's isn't one of the lucky ones. Not anymore at least. She used to say the same words Freddy is telling her now, but even sometimes, she has to be rational and logical and see things for how they really are. No matter how hard she thinks, she can't figure out a why for her. She'll forget everything and everyone when she goes back anyway. She can't even draw on it as life experience.

Switching from vodka to a tumbler of bourbon, Angela flops back in the booth and nurses it slowly.]

I wouldn't mind forgetting a few choice moments and months.

Really? I dunno I don't think I could do something like that.

[Although he believes Angela can govern her own drinks he's still monitoring her alcohol intake.] People get hooked on dope for that reason.

[A puff of laughter passes her lips over the glass rim.]

You just haven't been here long enough. And I'm not in dangerous of doing dope. I like a natural high.

[That could be taken at either not toking it up or only sticking to things that come from a plant. Who knows? There is the tiny little fact of weed, meth, and peyote being part of Angela's history.]

[ANYTHING BUT METH. Ahem...he sips his beer, glad to get some kind of laugh out of her, though preferably not a dubious or dry one.]

You don't know anybody happy to be here?

[Look, she knows meth by taste alone. That has to say something about what she has and hasn't tried.]

Penny was, I think. She's gone too.

I know you know more people than that. Someone's gotta be happy. Was there one time, just one, when you were?

[It's a little weird for Freddy to be the one talking optimistically but mostly what he'd like to do is take the blue out of Ms. Coco.]

[Angela's seriously thinking, but whether it's her memory, the people who were happy being gone now, or the alcohol, she can't pull up any. Somebody should take a poll.]

In the beginning, I was. I pretended it was a free vacation away from dealing with corpses and dead kids.

Well you know happiness don't last forever, it comes and goes. How long you been here?

A year and a half. [Far too long, thank you very much.] Are you happy here?

A little tiny fraction of your entire life and it started out alright? Ain't bad odds.

[He's not going to ask Angela her age but really one year, it's safe to assume it's a tiny fraction. As for her question Freddy's got to think about it. His face was busted by the very same force who helped keep him alive. Some good some bad in that, he nods.]

Sometimes yeah. [He doesn't want to jinx it by saying he's had sadder moments at home.]

For me, a year is a longer than just a fraction.

[A year is the longest time she's ever spent in one place not D.C. A year is the longest time she's ever had her choices taken away from her. A year for Angela is like a lifetime to other people.]

I hope it stays like that for you. [And a piece of rare pessimistic advice...] Don't get attached or committed.

Well I hope it gets on the up and up for you.

[If she can't hope for herself Freddy's here to do it for her, whether or not it just comes off as obnoxious on his part. If he didn't care he wouldn't be sitting here nursing beers and bourbon with her.]

I ain't old enough to shoot people off my lawn yet.

[She needs time, as much as Angela hates waiting. The alcohol, the crying, they're all temporary distractions from the matter at hand. They can't last forever. Even Angela knows that much. But she's on her way to throwing up that wall that she used to have, the one that stopped her from committing or attaching herself to anybody or anything.]

In a couple years, you will be.

[There's a joke for you there, Freddy, even if Angela's hiding it behind her sips of alcohol.]

[Oh hell naw. He snorts though it's in good humor, just playing along.]

What makes you say that?

You're the older one. Don't deny it.

[He takes a generous gulp of beer.]

Older ain't the same as old.

That's what old people say to feel young.

[There might be a hint of a mischievous smile on her face. She's not cured, but at least she's set aside her bourbon for a glass of water at the moment. This might be a good sign.]

You probably won't be able to keep up with everybody else soon.

Bullshit. [To both remarks fff.] I played short stop in school and for your information I'm still pretty good at it.

I'll be believe it when I see it. When it warms up, you and me on the softball field.

[If he's still here, hopefully. Or if she is, as well. She's scared to hold out hope.]

[Freddy has to give her a scrutinizing look. Softball? Really? It's not a mean look of course, just...come on, softball?]

Make it a baseball diamond and you got a deal.

[For Freddy if it happens then it happens, it feels a lot better hoping for the best than thinking of the worst. Of course, he would have a different opinion on that philosophy if bleeding in the backseat of a car. Different circumstances okay?]

No, softball. [She doesn't care if he looks down on it. It's what she played and what she kicked ass with.] If you're so badass, you'd be able to flip flop between the two.

[What? What? He makes a face.]

Oh come on...fine.

[He relents as only a good sport can. Fff.]

[She just smiles, grateful enough to push her alcohol to the side. Her liver is grateful itself for the break in all the abuse she put it through this weekend.]

Thank you. Not for the softball. For coming out.

[If she neglects it long enough Freddy might just pour the rest of her beer into his own glass. Waste not want not.]

Nothin' doin', Angela.

[He gives her a genuine smile under all that bruising.]

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