orangetoughguy | 3rd

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3rd

Waking up on the stairs not remembering if you were coming home or going out: Signs of a good night or bad night?

I swear to God I talked to a bear.

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Bad night. Usually that means you've managed your way home through ways you don't want to remember.

Or you got too drunk to know who you were hitting on.

But then that's never happened to me.

[Hooooooooolyyyyyy shiiiiiiiiit.]

Um. Hi.

...hi?

Sorry. I mean I think we figured out I was leaving the apartment not coming back into it.

Wait like you just passed out on the stairs?

And then you saw a bear?

I saw the bear before I passed out. You got a name?

Were you perhaps high when you passed out?

God, names.

So my name is Billy, but this isn't my usual body. Curse day.

Naw, I wasn't high. So, Billy, you know whose body you got?

[For all he knows this kid is Mystique trying to pull a fast one.]

Yes.

And hopefully he doesn't do anything horrible with mine, while he has it.

You taking the fast lane in the meantime?

Fast is an understatement.

It's like the super express lane. With extra express. And speedy on the side.

Don't piss off his sister and you should be fine.

[PAUSE]

He doesn't have a sister.

Wait. Does he have a sister?

[Oh shit oh shit oh shit.]

Uh, she's probably in red, has a full head of hair, I mean real full...?

Fuck I shouldn't be sayin' anything.

[Oh. Oh okay. Oh thank god]

You mean the Scarlet Witch?

She's not his sister.

She's our mom.

Wait do you know her?

[Wait what.]

What?

Tommy's my twin.

Uh.

This body? It's Tommy's.

Oh. [Awkward pause.] The Scarlet Witch is your mom?

[HIS MARVEL U IS BLOWN.]

Yeah.

I got her powers. Tommy got our uncle's.

So...is Quicksilver your dad or something?

[HORRIFIED SILENCE]

What.

Ew.

Dude.

Ew!

Cut me some slack how the fuck should I know better?

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DUDE.

That's sortaprobably our mom you're talking about!

Uh. Hi.

[Fuuuuuuuuck.]

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