orangetoughguy | logging iv

[Painkillers and penicillin because she's sure if he goes untreated there'll be infection. Clearly, they're both in trouble and not only that a man she's known is out of his goddamn mind. At least she's even for real for all the things he's done for her and her mother... all the reasons why Lawrence Dimick feels obligated to make nice. This may be the last time he'll see her ever again.

The lights from the house behind them seem brighter, makes the night seem colder and more traitorous then just another California night. For an unnumbered time, Larry's grounded by Freddy's clutching hand.]

I'm here. I'm here with you, I'm not going to leave. I'll stay on the doorstep where you can see me.

[His voice is soft, hushed. With his free hand he combs back Freddy's hair like he has done it a thousand times before.

...he has, hasn't he?]

Okay, man....okay.

[Freddy whispers with intent on calming himself down, for his sake and for Larry's. How can he expect the guy to be a professional if he's crying the whole way? Shit you should be crying, Newendyke, you will be when they catch you. When. If. Greener eyes watch the other man up close, Freddy can only tilt his head into the combing palm.]

Hurry.

[Let's get out of here. We have to run. Pink Floyd wrote a song about it once.]

[His lips purse because he wants to kiss him. The impulse is real and alive like the two of them. And the memory of a million others is hot in his mind but not so hot or urgent as their safety.]

I will.

[Carefully he pulls away and before he stalls more shuts the door and goes to the back porch to look into the kitchen. His lips move in a thank's a million and sorry for any to trouble you most importantly goodbye, sweetheart. Bonnie's a grown to be a great woman. Take no shit like her mother. Unlike her mother she's had no taste for illegal substances or unreliable rambling men.

That's it then. The old man goes back to the car, rounding to the driver's seat.]

Okay.

[Silence is buzzing in his ears. The low radio feels like it's too loud. It's only just after sunset but it feels late, so very, very late. They've got many miles to cover.]

We're outta here.

[Freddy will remember her face but her name's a secret safe from him. As long as she does what Larry tells her to there's no risk. The old man's a fucking pro, he lit up a cop's party and never got caught. That takes fucking know-how. What the fuck are you doing with him, Newendyke?]

Are we gonna make it?

[No passport, no papers, no ID. Of course the kid's never had to cross the border on the sly before. What does he know about it? The radio's playing some song, something appropriate to their time. There's no network to use at their disposal, to their benefit.]

[What the fuck indeed? Pulling out of the residential area, he keeps the lights off, the radio still a muffle really flying under the radar.]

We are, man. A hop, skip and a jump.

[Easy sounding, ain't it? Well, it takes a lot of dirt roads. A few bills too. Whatever it takes. The ride for now is street to freeway. Brown eyes are checking the mirrors.]

How're you feeling?

I feel okay.

[Okay meaning alive. He actually feels fucking sick and it's not necessarily sick with Larry or himself. There are too many things going on at once, too many things to process.]

I need to smoke.

[Terrible idea with his patched up stomach. Don't let him do it, Dimmy. Fortunately Freddy doesn't even have it in him to look for a cigarette and a light.]

I got pills. They're in my pocket. The long white ones are for the pain. They're every twelve if you take two. The little yellow ones are to be taken with food every--[oh fuck what?] every eight hours or so. Just one.

[Being okay means that there's still room for improvement. One of Larry's hands leave the wheel to take a hold of Freddy's.]

Wait a bit on that, okay? After we're out of the state we'll get something to eat and stop. Then you can have a smoke.

[Taking charge and guiding like he's confident, like he's not scared out of his goddamn mind.]

[Dope already? No wait that's legitimate medicine, the kind of stuff Freddy would abuse in certain circumstances, this being one of them so keep an eye out on him Dimmy.]

Okay....

[He nods, taking Larry's word for it. He wouldn't dare dope the kid up just to keep him knocked out for the ride right?? A cool freckled hand manages to return the grip. Shit who knew they'd find themselves right back where they started but with years of memories to guide their course.]

You gotta be careful.

[Freddy whispers. No shit they have to proceed with caution. Caramel-green eyes are getting half-lidded. He's fucking exhausted.]

No speeding. No funny lane changes. Real simple until the hard part.

[The one hard part. There are so many. They gotta keep moving. Make sure no one knows their names. And inside Mexico more of the same.]

Rest. I know you're tired. I'll wake you at the rest stop. We're gonna be okay.

[His ears burn with the sound of his own voice like he actually believes it.]

Hard parts.

[Freddy clarifies for Larry like he might actually be cracking a small ill-timed joke because it's so fucked up he could laugh. But laughing hurts, literally, so he won't.]

Okay, Larry.

[The kid nods, sinking down even lower in his seat. What would his mom say? That's Freddy's only comforting thought however fleeting. He hasn't been near his family for a couple years...at least now they're on the same planet. But after all this maybe that just makes it worse.]

[Hours on the road, highways and byways and the midday sun makes the car hot even with the windows down. Dust has a taste in the air. The air is dry and carrying a spice of desert land. Not exactly paradise. They're passing through a boarder town off the major roads.

A burro brays. Larry isn't sure if Freddy is awake or not. Every once and awhile he pats on him to be sure he's warm and alive.

His heart hasn't stopped feeling heavy or wrenched into a vice.]

[How he hears the burro over the sound of the engine is a mystery. Maybe your senses get thrown out of whack after getting shot, blasting off to some mysterious universe for years, then coming back to being shot. Who knows. Maybe it's because Freddy hasn't eaten. Can he even eat in his condition?]

Stop it.

[He groans with a sudden stirring. Sleepy caramel green eyes are looking hazy and half-lidded. There's crust on the corners. Not attractive at all.]

What happened?

For sixty dollars a coyote helped us through.

[Cash money. The road the old man knew was out of commission. Who knew someone actually mended fences or now and then kept track? The point is they're here.]

We're going to a hospital.

[No ifs, no ands no butts.]

If I understood right it'll be another twenty minutes or so to the larger cuidad.

[The cars are moving slow enough for him to get a look at the passenger. Hell as a face right now and it's Freddy Newendyke's.]

What? [Remember, Newendyke? You're on the run.] We're through?

[And so fucking soon. No chance to consider diverting their path (to let his mom know he's alive). Freddy shifts in his seat to be more upright. Ow that didn't feel good.]

You speak enough Spanish to...

[Make sure they don't accidentally amputate him or leave a sponge behind. Not that he's profiling the developing world or anything.]

Through yeah, still too close to the border for my liking.

[The more miles, the more hours the better except Freddy cannot wait that long.]

To-?

[The uncertainty shouldn't be surprising. Larry blames the lack of sleep and a hot meal. The most he's had is from the gas station. It was a necessary stop for fuel.]

They speak English here too. Not everybody does but I speak enough. I'm sticking by you, man.

[Like always. Like has been. There they go again.]

Look--[where to start? I am sure beyond a shadow of a doubt I spent years with you?]

I know that.

[About the English, that is, Freddy snorts, a temporary return back to the chipper fox he can be, the chipper fox he was before he suddenly disappeared. Fuck what was he even doing at the time? He vaguely remembers going by the arcade to try his hand at a claw machine, just killing time before Larry got off work.]

Look. [They both speak at the same time.] I was--I was kinda delirious back there. A lot of stuff was going through my head.

[Spit it out, Newendyke.] Weird stuff...

[At least the basics are clear. They're here. The kid is going to get the care he needs. Well. As soon as they get there. Both hands on the wheel but his attention is on the conversation.

Last the old man knew he came home to an empty apartment. Hours rolled by. Days. Empty even though it all went on around him.]

You and me both. It all sounds, feels crazy but I felt like I just woke up.

[How does he come out to say what he wants to fucking say?]

What do you mean?

[Freddy asks. He wants to know because that sounds like Larry gets what he's trying to say too. How two grown men can't talk about the few years they shared in some entirely different cursed reality isn't too difficult to conceive. Before the City, Freddy would have cited someone spouting off the same words for public intoxication.]

[A throat clear and a nose sniff like they they will buy him time.]

This is going to sound crazy. And I'm not saying this in a figurative way like people say they known one another all their lives.

[Because people do.]

Back there, before I got Joe and Eddie... it was like we were some place else. You and me.

[If he puts it like that then it doesn't sound like his whole happiness doesn't rely on this moment. For a moment the engine, the road, the sounds around them are nothing. It's silence when Freddy isn't speaking.]

[That's it. That's what this means. It means it happened. And there's no turning back. Freddy feels like he might throw up.]

I was at an arcade. It seemed all right, but the lights and the noise...it made me sick. I woke up and...I knew where I was, it felt like a memory.

[Gunning Blonde down. Maybe Freddy's doomed (blessed?) to replay that moment in his life again and again.]

[The arcade? Holy shit that means! It was real. It did happen. They are still in possession of all those times, good and bad.]

Fuck, that's right!

[Okay fuck. He can't just keep away the old man takes a hold of Freddy's shoulder and tries not to wrench him any way to pain him.]

Yes, baby.

[Dare he say it? The word just rolled out.]

I came to and I saw the warehouse. The guns, I didn't know what to think. I wanted us to get the fuck out.

Watch the road.

[Freddy warns and doesn't push that paw away. Any incident no matter how minor could blow the whole thing. But he's looking at Larry, brow furrowed.]

I don't know what happened. It's--it's fuckin' weird, Larry.

[A true indicator of it being real? The old man knows his name. He didn't tell him that before all this. Another indicator?]

You know I'm a cop? I'm a cop, Larry. [The vomit is coming out but only as words.]

I am. I am.

[Both hands to the wheel for caution and because it feels to surreal. He needs something stronger than the other man to grasp too. Shit he's bled out so much. Bonnie wasn't sure if she could do more than patch him up.]

I can't tell you either, kid. I was there then I wasn't.

[He swallows and nods before he speaks. Freddy is a cop. Joe and Eddie are dead and fresh in their graves now. Again. Something like that. They're on the lamb.]

I know, Freddy. You're a cop.

[It doesn't make it less of a murder.]

[He knows his name's Freddy. He knows he's a cop. And he hasn't thrown the kid out of the car to run him over. It's real.]

I can't fuckin' believe it...what the hell happened to us?

[Yeah he's going to ignore the whole dead Joe, Eddie, Marvin Nash, and the scumbag. If Freddy were to think about it more he might realize Pink was nowhere to be found when all the guns went off. Is he still there?]

That was three whole fuckin' years, Larry.

No, I can't believe it. I mean, I know it. I just--words fucking fail.

[Three years. So much. All the wondering and doubt. Here they are back where it started more or less. Now they got a head start.]

It's a long time. Longer than I could have hoped for.

[And now that it's done, it is a mind fuck to be in their own reality. The hospital is visible ahead..]

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