orangetoughguy | log post II

Yeah, for a place with seasons.

[He shrugs playfully. In Los Angeles the weather's like this half the year. Making sure that bike's in good form and that the big bird won't bother it, they can walk down to the rocks. More time for them to share together without the roar of an engine, right?] My grams flew the planes.

[He smiles, betting this will pique Larry's interest. Follow the kid now, he's walking along wooden planks. The 'boardwalk' isn't long nor the distance to the actual rocks that far.]

More and more surprises. Did she really? That must have been how she met grams then.

[Sounds like some kind of classic movie. That much he doesn't say, it almost goes without saying. Interests are piqued.]

Are they still around?

[The shoes he's picked out don't let the sand or surf in. Careful steps though, his arms out a little for balance.]

Kinda. She was flyin' crop dusters first but after Pearl Harbor she wasn't gonna sit around and let gramps get all the glory for the home soil you know? [He nods, careful of the rocks down here too even though Freddy scales them like some kind of mountain goat.] Yeah, they're still around. Pretty old but life's been real good to'em. So's granddad on my mom's side.

[Here's a nice spot to just sit and smoke a couple more cigarettes.] Are any of yours?

[Stupid question, Newendyke, considering Dimick's got fifteen years on him. Maybe his grandparents are lucky though.]

[There's so much to digest there. The world war.]

I bet they're full of stories.

[Could be where Freddy got his appetite for stories? Then again, some people are just like that. Comics are stories.]

Nah. They were old birds.

[Birds must be the animal of the day. Larry crouches then sits as well.]

Fucking beautiful out here.

They never saw combat, my gramps maintained the planes and my grams hauled them out to bases.

[Not as exciting as it could've been, no Captain America origin stories here. Funny enough he got his appetite for stories from comics from his dad who used them to keep the kid from getting an appetite for real war stories. Look how that turned out.]

Sorry to hear that. [He nods to Larry knowing full well it's one of the oldest lines in the book of condolences but he doesn't know what else to say. That's what people told him when his grandma died.] Sure is.

[The scenery, that's better.] Does a cowboy like you ever think about sailing out? Like on open water?

That'd make a good movie.

[Those don't always gotta be exciting, at least not in the same way. He shrugs as though it's all nothing.]

S'okay. They had hard times with the Depression and the War.

[He waves it all off toward the ocean. Thinking about it makes him feel old.]

Sailing? You mean buying a boat and living out there?

I guess.

[He nods, not really considering the cinematic qualities of his grandparents' lives, although it'd fit in pretty well with the likes of The Rocketeer. As for being old, well that Billy kid seems to think Freddy's been alive for at least a hundred years thanks to David Lee Roth. It's a crazy crazy world.]

Yeah, getting a boat and just moving along the coast or up the Mississippi or anchoring in Florida.

[According to this Billy kid's school of thought, Freddy must be 127 and Larry is 142. Still old in this crazy crazy world.

He stands with both hands in his pockets he squints, still looking out across the water. It looks like any other shore. There could be more out there. It could all just be bullshit.]

Crossed my mind. I don't mind the water. But [slowly he stretches and settles to sit] I like roads, freeways and tourist traps. Those don't exist out there.

You like havin' people around.

[Freddy says, calling a spade a spade because he understands that feeling too. Living out in the country sounds nice, hell it looks great, but this kid needs people around. This kid needs people no matter how selfish and thankless they can be even when a guy like Freddy Newendyke shows up to answer their domestic disturbance calls.]

Yeah. I guess I do.

[That wasn't the way he would put it or think about it but a spade is going to be a spade. Larry takes out another cigarette. He cradles the flame as it moves with the sea breeze before clicking the lighter shut.]

Would you want to live in an apartment?

[Simple question edging on complex context. Sorry kid. He's heading there.]

That depends on the apartment. I live in an apartment right now and it's great [That'd be their current apartment.] but the one I had before it was okay. I made it home, it wasn't anything special.

[Freddy shakes his head, knowing this is going There.] I like houses, all that space...well I gotta say I like breaking in houses.

[A beat, then the kid is using his hands.] Not like that, I mean making a house look lived in. That's what I mean.

You want us to keep ours? That's home to me.

[He hasn't had very many homes. It's a place where you feel comfortable, where you can unwind. With Freddy he's felt safe and fucking accepted for who and what he is. The kid has got to feel the same. Is it something they can take with them though? Maybe that's the big looming question.]

I dunno how we could pack it up, we got a lot of stuff now.

[He answers without addressing the underlying question.]

I'd miss it...it doesn't mean we can't pick up stuff again though.

Sure doesn't.

[They'd have the diamonds. Though that is a whole other issue. Larry takes a deep inhale.]

Do you want to go back now kid?

[Brown eyes are trying to meet his green. He attempts a point blank approach before letting it drop for good.]

I don't know. [He answers honestly. It was gonna come up sooner or later.] I don't know, Larry.

[Freddy speaks quietly, green eyes on the wet rocks and white surf.] It's fuckin' hard, thinkin' through all the other shit, cause--[The kid pauses.]--cause I don't...

[He shakes his head.] Cause I don't wanna leave you. That's it, whatever happens, I don't wanna say goodbye to you.

[That's the hardest part because while he does want to go home, go back to Los Angeles, going back there could very well mean having to leave Mr. White's side. They have a lot going for them and just as much working against them.]

[Not knowing is something he can accept. Well, fuck he's basing his own reaction on the kid's decision. Larry stands positions between Freddy and the white rocks.]

This wouldn't be goodbye. Not in my book. I wouldn't leave you, not for long.

[Promises, promises. He could stay all he wants, but what the fuck is gonna happen. With a sigh he drops his cigarette into the sand.]

I don't wanna lose this and I'll do whatever it takes to keep it.

Don't you miss it, Larry? I mean there's gotta be something for you back home.

[Besides the kid, besides his dead friends. What about Alabama? What about his mom and dad? Anything? It worries Freddy that whatever Larry does seems to hinge on what he does. It's too much responsibility, too much fault in his hands if Freddy makes the wrong decision, and they've already seen what massive destruction his missteps can make.]

I wanna do whatever it takes to keep you, but I can't handle you goin' back to prison. [Or worse.] What if I'm bad for you, what if I'm fuckin' poison or kryptonite.

I do. I miss it a lot.

[What he wouldn't give for his sunglasses. Brave big man he is trying to make eye contact then feeling like he needs to shy away on the spot. Fuck it man. He looks just the same.

Something to go back to? Nope. All he got is himself, that's how it's been. Bama and people come and go. Friends are as close as you'll let them. That's how it was with a friend like Joe, a friend who he gunned down. Larry swallows.

Poison or kryptonite? All this time he's been worried about the influence on Freddy.]

No, baby. No. Don't go talking like that. You're fucking wonderful for me, to me. [It isn't to say he has any control about prison. A look beyond them to see if anyone is around before he takes a step closer and puts his hand on the kid's shoulder, close to his neck.]

The law's on my side. People go undercover all the fuckin' time, that's why we got witness protection, marshals, the fuckin' feds. They'll try to get to you through me.

[Another shake of his head then he puts his hand on top of the one on his shoulder.]

I wouldn't let'em but I don't know if I'm good enough to protect you the way you protect me. I fuckin' failed everybody at the warehouse.

I know they would try. They wouldn't succeed, I got ways too.

[And he knows that even with the stakes laid out like that he would try to see him anyway. His thumb rubs over the top of Freddy's hand.]

Hey. Quit talking like that. That all wasn't your fault. I'll be damned if you're gonna spin it like that.

[What can be said from here? Larry leans forward to touch his forehead against Freddy's he's got to crane it just a little.]

I don't wanna fuck anything up, Larry. That's all. I don't wanna fuck up.

[Or be a fuck up. Forehead to forehead he half-lids his green gaze, incapable of shaking off this feeling of fear that they're on a precipice and Freddy has to make a decision that could change both their lives drastically.

Like that hasn't already happened with Black Magic Woman and the like.]

You're not gonna, not with me.

[Be it the old man's presence making it work or the fact that Freddy can't truly fuck up what they have. Larry's still around right now.]

We don't have to leave. No one says we gotta.

[He knows somehow that if he said anything, made a definite decision the kid would go with it. It's not fair to pass the decision making here and there.]

Just know no matter what goes down, it won't change how I feel about you. Ain't that what really counts?

A part of me says we gotta, the responsible part. The selfish part says stick to your guns and stay here.

['Here' and 'guns' being not a place but a person. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who that person is, does it?]

Yeah, it counts. Alot. [Freddy nods once, twice.]

Responsible to who? To what?

[Because it seems like no one else is paying too much mind to these to men standing close to the water he threads his fingers into Freddy's hair.]

I feel selfish either way. We go and I'm going to hit the pavement. Make no mistake I'll see you whenever however, [considering that he'll want to stay on that straight and narrow...he's a cop after all] it'll be a life on the road.

[Larry licks his lips before continuing] ...if we stay, I have you unconditionally.

You won't have fuckin' metal birds and shit coming after you or weird days when you wake up feelin' like a tea pot cause that's what you are.

[He shakes his head. Who knows if Freddy is really complaining about bizarre curses or not. Harpies and whatever are the price they pay for this life, separation too at least for the kid. They may not be on the best of terms but a part of him doesn't want to have left his family and friends without at least saying goodbye. Goodbye before driving off into the sunset with Lawrence Dimick. It could be the best mistake of his life. Maybe they aren't ready to go (yet) but now he has to say it. Freddy runs his other hand down Larry's chest.]

I'm sorry about your friends. [Mainly, he means Joe.]

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