orangetoughguy | log post II

[Ain't nothing wrong with ravioli out of the can. Freddy's living proof of it, the keyword being living. Toy pieces down now he looks up at Larry.]

Up where?

[But he's looking too. Oh. Up there. Well, he can't lie, the kid has no reason to...right? Freddy shrugs.] Yeah, I did.

[Nothing wrong to Freddy. The old man can't stomach it. Though sometimes he's got a problem with cold food. He waits with the appearance of patience but to see that he's going about is merry way with the toys make his boiling point try and creep.]

That mean something to you?

[Symbolically? Personally? They had an apartment before and there weren't no cross hanging. That some kind of a new development? Larry can't ask if someone died because--well, as far as he knows everyone is alive and anyone dead right now ain't worth honoring. And it's not a holiday, there are plenty of holiday Christians or Catholics or...whatever.]

A little, it does a little.

[That's an understatement but it's the best the kid can muster. Time to put the toys away, though in Freddy terms it just means he leaves Iron Man alone while this conversation happens. Larry doesn't sound too pleased.]

[A little. Though it's still up there. And he put it there because he wanted to.

Swallow. Nod. It's just a cross. So fucking what. Cool it, old timer...at least that what he is trying to tell himself.]

When did you put it up? [An attempt at casual.]

[It doesn't take a genius to tell one of the two isn't so super cool with the new addition to this household.]

Yesterday. You don't gotta think too hard about, Larry. [Freddy shrugs, trying to pass it off as no thing.]

[He doesn't gotta. It happens all on its on.]

That mean it isn't worth talking about at all?

What do you wanna talk about?

[Freddy asks, green eyes narrowing just a little because...well, because, do they really?]

I'd like to think we can talk about all kinds of shit.

[Larry steps back into the room again and eases to sit down.]

I grew up Christian. [Freddy shrugs once. Okay maybe he'll give a little more.] Catholic, really.

[Same thing.] Dutch Catholic. [As if that helps more.]

So.

[He's listening. Processing.]

You're still Dutch Catholic.

[Nodding.]

Do you go to church?

It doesn't really matter cause Dutch Catholic just means Catholic from Amsterdam or something.

[Ramble ramble. Oh wait Larry asked a question. Does he go to church? Well...the kid shakes his head.] Not much. [Then, after a beat.] Do you?

[He shrugs. Like he'd know. Irish Catholic is special...or so they say.]

No. [Not anymore and not for a long, long time.] Could be because this kinda thing is beyond me but are you still Christian if you don't go to church?

Yeah. [That's one answer Freddy can give with absolute conviction.] That's why it's up there I make my own sanctuary.

[And that's what this place is...right?]

Sure. If that's what you want.

[His room, after all.]

You know what they say about this kind of a thing we have.

[If only there was a more indirect way to say it. That's a big part of what's bothering him right now about this. Fuck the kid can believe what ever he wants. He loves comics, old music... None of that though says the can't be how he is. Those things don't judge you.]

What who says about what thing?

[If Larry's gonna ask him questions then Freddy expects Larry to make more specific remarks, especially if they're going to talk about this.]

The church says faggots go to hell. Don't they?

[That was one of the many messages he got the last time he went to church. It's not a truth he believes, maybe part of it makes it easier to believe that there may not be a god of he can pick and choose which assholes go where when there are damn good people out there who don't live the same way as those holy believers.]

I'm not tryin' to start shit. I'm trying to get it.

It depends on the church.

[That's not exactly a lie though Freddy understands what Larry's trying to say and do, which is not start shit. He gets up off the bed now to spark up a cigarette. Smoking's probably against some rule too, isn't it Lent this season? Fuck.]

Your church?

[Brown eyes watching, wondering. He doesn't regret trying to talk it out....the it though is illusive in its way. Nothing is clearcut, Larry himself is full of contradiction.]

[He has to think about this one for a moment. Technically he doesn't consider himself a part of any church but to say he hasn't gone to one in a while would be a lie. He went to the only one here before getting his bite results.]

I don't really have a church right now. [He pulls an ashtray over.] A couple of the ones I grew up around? I'll give you that, 'faggots' go to hell.

[The way the kid says it clearly leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Faggots are guys like Pink trying to change their codename color for pussy reasons. Not guys like them.]

Do you believe that, kid?

[Regardless of what church. Bad enough that he's with a crook, like that's not some morally questionable activity. Would mounting a cross vindicate all of that? Maybe exorcise some evil between them? He's still watching.]

I remember that is what they'd say. You go to hell if you're born out of wedlock. You go to hell if you fuck before marriage. You go to hell if you disobey your parents.

[Freddy actually stares at Larry now. Really just stares.]

You're kidding me right? I mean, do you really have to ask? [It's not a trick question either.]

Do I look like I'm kidding?

[Fuck, can't they just talk about this? Okay. Maybe his tact has gone out the window. It's a sensitive subject on both ends.]

You still believe it even though that's what they say?

[Oh he's still staring.]

No I don't fucking believe it. Do I act like I'm ashamed to you? Or is this because I'm bred Catholic I'm supposed to be some guilt-ridden masochist?

Hey. I'm askin' because I don't fucking know.

[Larry stands up and folds his arms.]

I dunno how fulla pride you can be, we keep it to ourselves.

The fact that you thought I might be a little ashamed is kind of hard to swallow. [He's using his hands to talk now, cigarette waving.]

You know, after all the assfucking and cocksucking I've given you.

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