orangetoughguy | log post II

[Out comes a paw to take Larry by the collar of his shirt.]

You got me flowers.

[He's not even gonna joke that Sam's such a sweet toucan the featherbrain picked up roses and orchids for his favorite human. It's a little weird, a little alluring, a little cheesy, and secretly it makes Freddy feel like the fucking whole teenager between them.

Be a man, Newendyke, don't let him treat you like a girlfriend.

No be a giddy school boy cause that's what you are and honesty is the best policy.

Either way you're like a total fag, dude.]

Yep. I sure did.

[He's not goin' no where so the paw can wrinkle up his collar. Pride begs that he pull away. This was a bad, bad idea. Except Lawrence Dimick ain't ashamed. He wanted to. They smell good, the look nice and fuck they mean something.]

This old Oriental lady told me that this one was a winner.

[The flowers he means. By the way, that old Asian lady was pretty classy looking for her age. She looked like she knew what she was talking about when he said he wanted flowers an unconventional bouquet that really said something.]

[He said Oriental. Man Dimick you are one old man. Well in his defense you can't control whether you're born before or after the civil rights movement and cultural revolution and all that. Whatever. The point is this lady picked out the flowers but there's no doubt in his mind Larry walked in with the intention of getting flowers. Who picks up something like that on a whim? On a whim means signaling Jose to hurry up and give you that rose bouquet before the light turns green on La Brea.]

Nobody's ever got me flowers, Larry. Real nice ones too.

[Well duh Newendyke, you're a guy and yeah while Lawrence Dimick is not quite the only guy you've fucked, Lawrence Dimick is the only guy you've pretty much dated to the point of going steady. Oh yeah and moving in together too. And also waking up in the same bed. Uh huh. PS. Freddy may not know the difference between a bunch of carnations and a bunch of lavenders, but he knows triple digit quality when he sees it.]

[The old man's not beyond learning. He's got time yet. Somethings don't change though from politically correct terminology to the drive to be the best kind of a man. It's what the kid deserves. This wasn't no whim though. And the Asian lady wasn't on a corner at all.]

Sorry it took so long then.

[Larry licks his lips looking into Freddy's face to find clues if he's not gonna say immediately it was a bad or good call. Still not sorry though. If it bombs it's a lesson learned. At least he'd have got the man flowers. This close though Freddy is free to see the old man's side stepping with caution.]

I told her I wanted roses. No red ones. These are supposed to mean a few things.

[Which makes it sound like they're not just plants that are going to wither. That's absolutely different from the connection they have. To think it all started fucked up then transformed to fucking around.]

[Maybe that's the biggest difference between them. Larry may be rooted in an older institution but he's got experience and he's got a clue. He knows when it might be better to stay old fashioned or change with the times. By comparison Freddy may be rooted in a post-revolutionary generation but he still flounders around trying to find his way, especially in this context. He's got the emotional maturity of a teenager. It's not his fault he took this long to really be honest with himself.]

What do they mean?

[He hasn't let go yet. These caramel greens are warm but leaning towards a cooler shade for all the right reasons. The kid is touched. Orange is undone. Freddy Newendyke is in fucking love. It's a morbid comparison to draw but the realness of it all hits him like a felon shooting up cops in their own cruiser.]

[A paw of Dimick's own comes up to smooth back about nine or so months worth of long honey colored hair from the kid's forehead. The man doesn't have to be bleeding and ask for him to hold him. That impulse is already in him not yet.]

Orange and yellow roses mean desire and passion. Not quite red because that means romance though these sure got their own way about it anyway I think.

[His breath is warm on the kid's face. There's a lot of crazy shit he'd do for this man. Stand up to his own best friend of years, shoot down cops, take up a steady job at a casino and live with him... Two Guns of years past would have never come so far so willingly. Then again, it's all been stepping this way. How long can a man be a rolling stone?]

The other one's are orchids. I never seen ones like that. Especially orange ones.

[He's gotta get that trimmed and having hair to pull is no longer a valid excuse. Larry was able to pull it almost nine months ago so really, he's gotta get that trimmed. The paw in it can stay though, feels real real nice.]

You kinda know too much about flowers.

[You homo. Except look who's talking. It's a joke though, really, that's what that comment was, because it's the first thing an emotionally stunted Newendyke resorts to. Green eyes focus down to the old man's mouth then a little lower. It's all a fucking lot.] Thanks, Larry.

The lady filled me in.

[The old bear can chuckle about that. See, there were quite a few arrangement ideas he nixed before wanting to take this one home. Lots of eternal passion, romantic love, promises, flowers don't gotta be a fucking bridal bouquet. Does that make him an even bigger homo he was picky?]

I liked how it looked. [And had figured that he would too. Don't mind him for sighing in relief. Larry tucks his cigarette behind his ear. Shuffling closer even while held at the collar he lets his hand slide back to touch Freddy's back.]

Your welcome. [Baby. Cowboy. Tough guy. Freddy.]

Well it looks great.

[If the old man asked that aloud the kid here might be inclined to say "Yes." aloud but again...look who's talking. He's the guy so easily falling into a natural hold with a paw to his back. This man got him fucking flowers.]

Larry... [Are you gonna ruin the moment, Newendyke? Well if he keeps it in Dimick's just gonna see he's having an inner conflict anyway. Larry's good at that.]

[They look great sitting there at the night stand. The sheets are rumpled from whenever they spent the night there last. All of the kid's action figures were carefully put back close to where they were after the glass cubed vase was positioned.]

I wanted to do it. Think of it as a thank you.

[Already he's trying to figure it out and make it better. Save another mix up. Please don't be mad. It wasn't meant for that at all.]

[The action figures positioned around the vase only make the vase and its roses and orchids fit in even more, like the more classical beauty simply belongs there. It's got Freddy convinced anyway.]

You don't have to thank me, man...but I like'em so I'll keep'em.

[Have a little smile, old man. Another paw goes up to take him by the collar, fingertips running up and down. Just say it, Newendyke. If you can't even say it to Lawrence Dimick then who can you tell?] Larry I think I'm guh--

[OH GOD HE CAN'T EVEN SAY THE WORD.]

[The savage beast of doubt is soothed with Freddy's hands.]

Good.

[Brown eyes pay rapt attention to what he's trying to say. Already Larry knows what he wants to say. And that it's true. Except the truth is shit until you accept it. Here, he'll save Freddy the embarrassment and show him. Lips first and tongue following.]

[But...but...he needs to say it aloud and to someone so he can better accept it himself and sure making out with another guy is kind of a clincher it's still not letting him say the goddamn fucking words and...aw fuck it.

The thought blows right out the window like a once-thought missing toucan. He curls his fingers into tight fists with that shirt in them as he kisses back. Lips first, tongue second, teeth somewhere along the way.]

[Contact like this is what makes him want to buy the man flowers. This is passion worth desiring from across the bar to across the room in blood or health.

Hot damn is the old man in too deep.

Freddy is who and what he is. He's free to say what he is anytime. Today. Tomorrow. Whenever it strikes him.Larry will listen and appreciate what a big step it fucking is.]

I had to do that.

[Does he mean the flowers or helping the kid regain a little more confidence.]

[Whether he means the flowers or not, Freddy Newendyke fucking appreciates it. Yeah the flowers too, he's going to be looking up the best way to keep them fresh for as long as reasonably possible. Not that that's a metaphor for anything.]

Shut up and do it again.

[And for direct emphasis he presses right up against the old man, groin to groin. So maybe it is a metaphor, but he doesn't have to tell Larry that for him to get it either, does he?]

log post II

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