orangetoughguy | log post II

The fuck is this.

[As though he has to ask. The old man looks from the chair back to the kid to the chair again.]

Get the fuck down here.

[Profanity only means that he's enchanted beyond words. Though he would very much like Freddy to come on down.

In the mean time, he's going to give this a go. It's an unusual gift but one that he is enjoying greatly. This isn't any typical chair. The stitching alone tells a story.]

What's it fuckin' look like?

[As though he has to explain. Come on a chair is a chair is a chair, some just come with more perks than others. This one in particular isn't the La-Z Boy of old though, not the kind his daddy or his daddy's daddy woulda had. This one's modern and what's the word the sales associate used...oh yeah, chic.

Anyway at the sound of his command Freddy goes on skipping down. Sam hops up to perch on the back of the chair and look down at Larry.]

That's not yours, buddy, buzz off.

Looks like you dropped about five or six hundred [US dollars] on this. [Back in '92 at least.]

How'd you haul it in?

[He's looking at that beak that's menacing him from above then to the mouthy kid.]

Not mine?

[Smile still stands the fact that it's here is fucking amazing. And he's not getting up yet. Deal with it, Newendyke.]

[It's not just one beak menacing him from above, now it's a brightly colored beak and a lightly freckled one looking down upon Lawrence Dimick.]

Super powers. [And as if you didn't know, Mr. White.] I'm talkin' to the bird. Come on, Sam, Larry wants to enjoy his new toy.

[E-e-ee-e-ee-e. The toucan hops up onto Freddy to be carted away into his cage. Notice there's something new here too, a curtain rig that drapes over the cage so that Sam gets an open view of one side instead of the whole apartment. Shrouded away from most of the light inside the bird's free to enjoy the night sky while nibbling some fruit or he can tuck away and sleep in his nest. Toucan's choice.]

[How dopey is it that Larry already feels that anything in this apartment ends up to be a "yours, mine and ours" deal? Brown eyes watch one beaky creature escort the other away from his throne. Say. How about that curtain.]

I gotta say, I shouldn't be surprised by what you can do but I am, Mr. Super Hero.

[Which one is up to Freddy because as far as Larry is concerned (and what he knows) the kid is Spiderman, Iron Man, Green Lantern and Super Man all rolled into one.]

Feels nice.

[Larry looks over one arm then the other to find what makes it recline.]

[Freddy doesn't say it aloud but he's thinking it; I can spend big bucks too, high roller. And the chair's a good quality deal, worth every penny he spent (as far as he knows...) What he hopes is that the chair meets Larry's standard for taste, quality, design, and price point, because let's face it, Lawrence Dimick knows better about these things. The lever to make the chair recline is tucked against one side, subtle but not invisible, just like the functions under each arm. There's a cooler to one side and the massage and heat controller on the other. They don't call this kind of chair a woman's worst nightmare for nothing. Fortunately Freddy Newendyke is no woman. He comes back to cross his arms over the back and look down on the other man again.]

I wouldn't getcha a chair that feels bad.

[Says Captain America, Flash, and Nite Owl all rolled into one. But what about the birthday business? He thinks about bidding the old man a good one, would he appreciate knowing what Freddy does purely because he was a rat?]

[A brief recline to get a feel for it. Oh yeah. He lets out a little noise at the back of his throat. Shoes aren't off yet but now he's wishing they were. Back to sitting upright he looks over at this sneaky super hero roommate.]

Did you give it a try?

[To test drive it.]

C'mon over.

[A paw pats his knee.]

Yeah in the store--[Oh.] .....

[A pat to his knee. Oh yeah the kid knows what it means. He's kind of just eyeballing the old man before he comes around the side to sit on said knee. So far so good, the chair's holding up under their weight. Then Freddy shifts to sink back into Larry's lap only to bend over. He starts removing those shoes for him.]

[That expression is priceless. Okay, perhaps not it's the price of a fancy recliner.]

When did you go?

[Sneaky, crafty fox. Of course the chair supports both of their weight. It's sheer craftsmanship. His hands go about Freddy's waist. He doesn't get a chance to steal a kiss due to leaning to remove his shoes, so he'll hold tight anyways.]

On my breaks.

[Which means he went more than once. Isn't Larry proud of him for not picking up the first chair he saw or paying in toucan? Bent over like this the kid glances over his shoulder in the middle of removing the second shoe. Those socks are gonna have to go too.]

So you like it?

[The chair. The view. Etc.]

How many?

[Oh he is impressed alright. These are breaks that may or may not have been spent talking to the man over the network. And these are definitely ones not spent with that dick. Who needs him.

A paw stays fixed to hold the kid on. Don't want him to lose his balance. It strays to his thigh. The other roves up Freddy's back.]

I love it.

[As for the view, shit. As if he didn't feel like a pampered ol' hound dog himself. He groans a little looking right on back.]

Three? Two?

[Okay so he's not as discriminating as Lawrence Dimick on these issues but Freddy Newendyke tried his best. There goes the other shoe, now the old man is barefoot and those aren't the toes of a sleek well-kept woman. Nope.]

Cool. [He moves to sit up only a little, the groan hardly escaping his ears. If the kid shifts some more is he gonna groan some more?] Cause you gotta take it easy in your old age.

[There's another hint regarding his birthday. Will Larry take the bait?]

Enough to really know.

[Do you see how much he approves of this? So so so much. Clunk his shoes go to the floor. They're not heels obviously. And Freddy isn't some curvy dish. That's just fine.]

My old age? [He laughs incredulously.] You're so full of bullshit. Your eyes might be going brown.

[No groan but his breath catches with this deliberate movement. Freddy's putting just the right pressure on just the right place.]

I'm still at the top of my game. I think you'd know.

Oh yeah, I got an idea.

[Then the kid reeecliiiiiiines, stretching to sprawl back on top of Larry. He turns his head to sort of face Larry but it's more like bumping jaws and noses or something.]

But I think the lazy chair's kind of a gamechanger. [What man doesn't succumb to the ease and oaf-enabling ways of the La-Z Boy?]

Just an idea? Tough crowd.

[Larry loves en tough. Both arms around Freddy now. A bump is nothing. A peck to his lightly freckled beak.]

Gamechanger? A chair is a chair.... unless you know somethin' I don't. I don't feel any different that usual sitting here with you.

[On him.]

[Freddy brushes his freckled beak up against that pecking mouth again.]

Uh huh. Don't believe me?

[Have it your way, Mr. White. Freddy reaches under one of the chair arms to activate the heat and rolling massage function. Get comfortable, Larry, this guy's not gonna get up. He'd have to be thrown off.]

[He's generous with the other pecks.]

I'm not [peck] one to call you [peckity peck peck] a liar....but I don't believe you.

[Woah. He jolts in surprise. Rolling down his back starting at the neck.]

Oh man.

[Now there is another groan.]

[Those kisses are nice, real nice, but eventually Freddy has to shift again, this time to sit in Larry's lap a bit sideways like an elf on Papa Christmas deal. He drapes his legs over the opposite chair arm.]

Gamechanger.

[The kid concludes. Okay Larry's not biting. Freddy puffs a bit before saying:] Happy birthday? [Punctuated by a question mark, I WANT YOU TO KNOW I KNOW BUT NOT IF YOU'RE GONNA GET MAD.]

....That what this is about?

[Okay, he was feeling a little doubtful. It had occurred to him. Larry did get him flowers. That was something special. After forty three birthdays, many of them spent transitioning from one home to another, the old man stopped expecting anything out of it. Except how can he possibly deny the thoughtfulness.

Oh, boy. He shouldn't have. Though...]

I didn't say it was my birthday. That something else your super powers did?

[No more pecks for now.]

[Shit that doesn't sound too promising.]

I didn't want you thinkin' I did it over flowers, I had it in mind already, you know? [Er wait does that strengthen or cheapen his own intentions??] Just a little somethin'...

[Hey now didn't Larry wish he'd known it was Freddy's birthday back in December?]

[Freddy's special and should feel that way. Plus he'll feel different about years after a few more birthdays.]

Thanks, baby.

[Where the fuck are your manners, Dimick? He gives another peck. Don't let the guy think he's wriggling on the line.]

You really caught me by surprise.

[How did Freddy know his birthday? Was that something discussed in one of those cop hoedowns? Arms wrap tighter about Freddy's middle. Nothing cheap here. It's not fair to challenge like that.]

And I mean it takes the ease off Friday the 13th you know?

[He adds as kind of a little joke, like downplaying the occasion and the significance of the gift somehow makes things easier to accept. It doesn't only because why would anyone want to downplay this? Although the kid does have the Jason movies all set up for a marathon in this chair, if the old man's up to it. That peck is the start of good signs again.]

Sorry, it was kinda the point but in a different kinda way.

[What a weak explanation, but his intentions were good.]

You know what? I didn't even think about that.

[Just a day to go to work in a fucked up and crazy City to come home to the slice of private heaven in their apartment.]

Hey. Hey. You don't have to apologize for anything. You did good.

[More pecking working a nonverbal apology. Goddamn, Dimick don't let the kid feel bad. He's trying to be real, real nice. Wasn't he standing in the guys shoes the other night? And it wasn't a chair or a birthday.

The old bear sighs one part of frustration and another for the way the robotics working at his lower back.]

They got movies about it now.

[Freddy quips as if Larry here might be out of touch with Camp Crystal Lake. Who would blame him though? They just don't make movies like they used to in the 60s and 70s. Yep.]

Thanks, man.

[Finally the kid returns a kiss to the old man's jaw. He won't say thanks for not getting mad because by all rights Lawrence Dimick is entitled to the frustration. It's an invasion of privacy, sure they've probably gone to deeper parts of each other's bodies but that's a whole different ball game. Just like his mother, father, uncle, every home he's been in, and toy cars. Maybe you oughta tell him everything you know about him, Newendyke. Maybe you ought not to because he already has some idea and saying more would insult his intelligence. Shit.]

Hardy fucking har, Chevy Chase.

[He pinches his upper chest.]

Thank you. [Grateful, spoiled bear that he is.] And your super powers.

[Returned kiss. Now everything's flowing in the right direction. Larry's a clam that's not impossible to open. Some intel has slipped out. Nobody is invisible. After all, the more he thinks about it, Freddy's a cop. He's gotta know the basics.]

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