orangetoughguy | phone post

[He doesn't hate him but he does flush with embarrassment. GOD FREDDY BE MORE SENSITIVE]

Guess people don't say that anymore?

[WHAT HE CAN'T HELP IT HE'S NOT EXACTLY A COUNSELOR.]

Old people, maybe. [Like not even his mom and dad, more like his grandparents. Ahem okay Freddy's calm again.] I'm kidding, man, you can call it whatever the hell you want. It's your thing, your and his...thing.

[Plate pushed aside now so he can pull out a cigarette.] How'd this happen anyway? I mean, you knew right? Him sayin' he's taken wasn't news to you was it?

[He nods]

Well, we had....

[Oh god he can't say it.]

It wasn't news but he had never said it before. It just seemed. I thought maybe he would still go on dates with girls and kiss them and be with them.

Had....

[Stuck on that part for a moment. See, Steve, if you're gonna wanna talk about it you have to actually talk about it.]

Sex.

[He says it very softly but loudly enough to be heard. God how to some men talk about this so easily? He's heard it often enough, god knows]

[This is where he has to be an adult around you, Steve, because he knows you and when you come from.]

What kind of sex.

What do you mean?

[SOB HE'S NEW TO THIS OKAY]

What kind of sex? Look I'm not trying to worry you or anything but to some guys the kind kind of matters, you know?

[A pause. Because it's Steve.] How'd you have it?

Blowjobs. And with our hands.

[His own hands, right now, are very still and very flat on the table because he is looking at them. He hopes that's what Freddy means]

That's what you mean, right?

[Puff puff on his cigarette. Puff puff. Puff.]

...Wow. Whose idea was it?

[IS THAT BAD?]

Well. I told him it was okay, so I guess it was mine.

I'm askin' because right now it kinda sounds like you're just along for the ride.

[Neither, says the cawp.]

[He kind of seems a little taken aback by that statement. His voice is very steady, and serious]

What do you mean?

[It's a genuine question: as if Steve would ask any other kind, when it comes to this]

It don't sound like you know what you want. Your guy, he makes all the moves, calls the shots, you go with it.

[Duh maybe that's why he's talking to you, Freddy.]

I've never been in a relationship like this before.

[He sounds so careful about it, not embarrassed]

I kissed him first.

When was the last time you had one period?

[Not said in an insulting way, just curious because...it's Steve.]

I don't know if Peggy counts. We never got a real chance.

If she doesn't, then none.

[Smooooooooooke...okay not tackling the virginity issue.]

I see. So, what do you wanna talk about?

[Wait.]

Do you think that's a problem? That I'm stumbling through it?

[Again: honest question]

What? No! I just...I'm surprised, that's all.

[Shruuuuug.]

Because... [You're Captain fucking America.] Shit man, not even with a girl?

[Steve shakes his head]

Girls weren't exactly lining up around the block to dance with a guy they could step on.

And then...it just didn't seem important.

[He's never met dinky Steve Rogers so it's hard to process him looking any less than he does right now.]

Hey I'm a smaller guy too.

[Steve holds his hands up in a 'that's not really what I meant' fashion]

I was shorter than you. Skinny, too, and I could never catch my breath.

I guess.

[Spoke like a truly skeptical man because damn look at Steve now.]

So does he know what he's doing?

More than I do, that's for sure.

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]