orangetoughguy | phone post

Sex.

[He says it very softly but loudly enough to be heard. God how to some men talk about this so easily? He's heard it often enough, god knows]

[This is where he has to be an adult around you, Steve, because he knows you and when you come from.]

What kind of sex.

What do you mean?

[SOB HE'S NEW TO THIS OKAY]

What kind of sex? Look I'm not trying to worry you or anything but to some guys the kind kind of matters, you know?

[A pause. Because it's Steve.] How'd you have it?

Blowjobs. And with our hands.

[His own hands, right now, are very still and very flat on the table because he is looking at them. He hopes that's what Freddy means]

That's what you mean, right?

[Puff puff on his cigarette. Puff puff. Puff.]

...Wow. Whose idea was it?

[IS THAT BAD?]

Well. I told him it was okay, so I guess it was mine.

I'm askin' because right now it kinda sounds like you're just along for the ride.

[Neither, says the cawp.]

[He kind of seems a little taken aback by that statement. His voice is very steady, and serious]

What do you mean?

[It's a genuine question: as if Steve would ask any other kind, when it comes to this]

It don't sound like you know what you want. Your guy, he makes all the moves, calls the shots, you go with it.

[Duh maybe that's why he's talking to you, Freddy.]

I've never been in a relationship like this before.

[He sounds so careful about it, not embarrassed]

I kissed him first.

When was the last time you had one period?

[Not said in an insulting way, just curious because...it's Steve.]

I don't know if Peggy counts. We never got a real chance.

If she doesn't, then none.

[Smooooooooooke...okay not tackling the virginity issue.]

I see. So, what do you wanna talk about?

[Wait.]

Do you think that's a problem? That I'm stumbling through it?

[Again: honest question]

What? No! I just...I'm surprised, that's all.

[Shruuuuug.]

Because... [You're Captain fucking America.] Shit man, not even with a girl?

[Steve shakes his head]

Girls weren't exactly lining up around the block to dance with a guy they could step on.

And then...it just didn't seem important.

[He's never met dinky Steve Rogers so it's hard to process him looking any less than he does right now.]

Hey I'm a smaller guy too.

[Steve holds his hands up in a 'that's not really what I meant' fashion]

I was shorter than you. Skinny, too, and I could never catch my breath.

I guess.

[Spoke like a truly skeptical man because damn look at Steve now.]

So does he know what he's doing?

More than I do, that's for sure.

Well that's what I'm saying. You're following along, right?

[There has to be something he can use as an ashtray around here.]

[Oh, oh, now Steve gets it. He nods, and notices Orange searching for an ashtray. He and Bucky don't smoke but he grabs an empty beer can from the counter (Bucky, trash, really) and pushes it his way.]

Yeah, I guess I am.

I kind of wish I could surprise him.

[Tap tap tap right into the can.]

What do you mean?

I guess what I mean is that I would like to bring something to it.

So I'm not just following along.

[From his tone it's clear that this is just musing.]

Not like it would be easier for me if it were a dame, at least.

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