orangetoughguy | phone post

Entry tags:

phone post

"Motherfucker, I'm trying to watch The Lost Boys."

☎ CALL
☏ VOICEMAIL
✏ TEXT
✉ NETWORK

[The caller ID on Freddy's phone should say Angela on it, but the voice on the other end isn't quite hers. At least not the one he's used to. In fact, it's not a voice at all, but a bunch of numbers being pressed and some childish giggling.]

Hello? Angela?

[More giggling.]

Is that your girlfriend?

[What kind of question even is fjdklgfl.]

Who is this?

Who are you?

Mr. Orange. Are you with anyone, kid?

Maria's here. [The giggles never stop.] Where's Miss Purple?

Out on some other job I think.

[Maria...makes him think this IS Angela but can't be too sure.] What about your mom or your dad?

They ain't here.

[There might be a slight Texan twang to the kid's voice that gives a hint that she's been out of Texas either long enough or enough times for it to get mixed with a northeastern one.]

What's your job? Are you the pizza man because I'm hungry and all that's here is vegetables. I don't like vegetables. They taste like shit on a shingle.

[If he doesn't recognize that filthy motormouth as Angela's, then he never will.]

Nope, I'm a mechanic and I don't think you can eat metal. You're not a robot or anything are you--

........ [Well he's convinced now but he has to ask too.] How old are you?

Seven. How old are you? I bet you're old. Everybody is old here. There ain't no kids to play with.

Get outta here I'm not old. I'm only twenty years older than you but I'm still the coolest kid you'll ever meet.

[There's a little mumbling as she counts twenty years on her tiny little fingers... and runs out of fingers. Definitely old.]

That's still old. I bet you got no teeth.

If I didn't have teeth I'd be talkin' to you like zish'n shtuff.

No, you just take them out at night like my grandpa.

Sure maybe if you're reach and can afford falsies.

Are you rich? I need money for the ice cream truck.

Fuck no I'm not rich. I wish I was rich, Jesus.

[She swore at him so he can swear at her and stuff. Right.] I got money for ice cream though, I think.

Don't say Jesus. He'll come down and poke you in the butt.

[What kind of church did this kid go to?]

You gonna give it to me? [So much for never talking to strangers.]

Whoa whoa hold up, kid.

[Bypassing the money issue for a second.] You go to church?

Only on Christmas. Oh, and Easter. I hafta.

I'm the same way, my mom made me do it.

My babysitter does when she's here. Daddy doesn't, though.

Yeah? My dad wasn't too hot about church either.

Did he go away lot so he didn't get to go?

☎ CALL | backdated to sunday

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