cause you're super cool

So these two guys are walking home from a party on Halloween night, just for laughs they decide to take a shortcut through a cemetery. About midway through they hear a tap-tap-tap coming from the fucking dark. Tap-tap-tap chink. Tap-tap-tap. They're tough guys, they wave it off, but you know they think they gotta walk a little faster. Well they walk faster but the tapping gets louder. Now these guys are ready to piss their pants, they're holding on to each other for fucking life. Finally they come across an old groundskeeper with a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy shit, man," one of them says after catching his breath, "you scared us half to death." The other one says, "we thought you were a ghost! What the fuck are you doing working so goddamn late?"

The groundskeeper growls, "those sons of bitches spelled my name wrong!"

Link!

Okay that was pretty bad but you know what? It's still not as bad as a Made in 1965 shirt.

Link!

You know it's not that weird, a little foot in mouth happens to everybody.

Link!

So where's the party at?

[ooc: No spoilers for the ending of Reservoir Dogs, please!]

Link!

VOICE

[There's some kind of gargantuan reptilian whirring and hissing going on in the background of this breezy audio post.]

I'm not going to make it to work today. I'm calling in chased by motherfucking gators.

[ooc: Backdated to like 9am!]

So a couple decided to spend the weekend driving up from LA to San Jose. Along the way their car runs out of gas, real smart huh? The husband, he leaves the wife in the car to go find a pump. About a half hour later, the guy comes back with a gallon of gasoline but inside their car, the wife is dead. She's sitting in the passenger seat with a big old hunting knife sticking out of her chest. All the doors are still locked, the windows are up, none of them are broken. The car doesn't have a scratch, it looks the same exact way it was when he left it. How did the murderer kill the wife?

A little rain doesn't mean you can't have a fuckin' party.

[Turning the volume on his stereo for this song waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up. Desert City you get this post pretty clear, Glass City you might get just the music cutting in at full blast.]