orangetoughguy | log post II

I don't want to talk about it.

[Seldom is he this directly evasive. It's cowardly to a man who always says what he wants even though it is an expression of wants. As far as he's concerned the investigation is shutting down. The questions will multiply. She'll hear.

He'll busy himself getting his coat and yet another smoke. He isn't going to hold off on lighting it like Freddy. It's ignited instantly.]

Come on.

[Get on with the day it needs to start with breakfast and ending this conversation.]

[That sort of evasion makes Freddy put the brakes on. He stops with himself between Larry and the door, in other words he's a foxy wizard and the old man's a bearog.]

You don't have to talk about it but maybe there's something I can do man.

[Come on the kid still wants to achieve atonement somehow even if the old man doesn't quite need it. If Larry has an unrelated problem Freddy wants to back him up all the way.]

No. There's nothing you can do.

[That solid and certain of a statement comes out without hesitation. Another brick wall. Roll again, foxy wizard. Bearog is intent on trying to pass.]

How do you know that?

[Freddy asks, rolling the dice again because he thinks he can risk possibly going down the endless mine.]

Fuck! You just can't okay?

[Fatal hit to whatever defenses he's attempting to hold up. Larry steps back trying to recover from his slip.]

Gimme a minute. I'll be fine.

[Watch him as he tries to slip away a moment to a room or the bathroom attempt to "reason" with whatever the situation or emotion he's trying to reign in. He wants so badly to grab a hold of that line for all he's worth.

She's saying the most horrible things he'd ever dream she would say to him.]

Hey.

[Now Freddy's the one getting a little angry. He stares at Larry only to watch the other man just slip away as if from his fingertips. What the fuck is wrong? Whatever it is sounds ten times worse than a missing toucan, and to the kid a missing toucan was a big deal. Even though they're to get word on Sam sometime today, Sam is not the main concern on his mind. He follows Larry to the bathroom but only hovers in the doorway, at first.]

What happened? What happened to you?

[In the movies the fella grasps his head and crumbles to his knees. They keep on shouting shit like Make it stop! Shut up! Someone help! This old man is doing it except in his own way last night and thought it was done. Maybe it wasn't as explosive--Freddy was trying to sleep but he can feel it bubbling up.

The only son of mine living a life like this. I would have believed you would grow up stronger than the both of us now I see you've taken after your father. ...and Worse. You could have gone to college or joined the military! Look at the choices that you've made.

Such deviance. All swearing. You should know better! And you're fornicating with a man! Oh, Lawrence that's a sin! And would you look at him? There's still hope for him. You best let him alone. How disappointing.

This bathroom is full of dust. You should scrub it on your hands and knees. That's the only way to do it right. It keeps rolling on and on in her voice.

Paws fumble with the faucet sink as he fills his hands and douses his face. It's not going to wash away what these words are doing to him. Maybe they'll hide anything his eyes are betraying.]

Gimme a second.

[He's trying to push the door shut with his toe.]

[Oh hell naw that door ain't shuttin', Freddy puts his hands on it and if that's not enough well the bear will have to wrestle him out. However he doesn't ask anymore questions, at least not yet, giving Larry some time to collect his thoughts or soak his face or whatever it is the old man needs. It almost scares Freddy, the way he's carrying on, but for Larry's health instead of his own. He doesn't think there's a beatdown coming his way (Larry promised it would never happen again).]

Here.

[When it seems like the other man's face couldn't get any wetter he offers a towel.]

[See? He's a good boy. Helpful. I know what you're thinking, Lawrence. You better stop that. That's not how you are supposed to feel. If your father knew about this. Well. Thank God he doesn't know. I would have thought better of you. Larry flinches as he looks away from Freddy's face to take the towel at least.

Fine. No shut door.

Are you a complete brute? Say 'thank you', son. It is the very least you can do. Show some manners. Then I think it would be prudent to go upstairs and think about all that you have done.]

For God's sake! Yeah. Yeah I took the Lord's name in vain. I'll do it again if it pleases me shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up! You don't know a thing about me. If you're surprised well then maybe it's because you weren't fucking there!

[This outburst is directed right beside Larry. He doesn't get any time to be satisfied with it as his now dry face is covered with both paws.]

Edited 2011-05-08 07:00 (UTC)

.......

[Holy fucking shit on a pogostick bouncing up and down an orc's nutsack. The bearog's gone berserk but the foxy wizard still stands. Just keep calm, Newendyke. Keep calm, Larry's not crazy, this is beyond unlike him. Freddy swallows a lump in his throat. That cigarette's totally burnt out on the floor from his own surprise.]

Larry. Who are you talkin' to?

[Super effective. The bear stands still and looks at Freddy with more of a deer in the headlights kind of a stare then that of any monster. The was trying to prevent himself from anything like that. He remains on the retreat combing his hair and attempting to fix the towel so that it sits on the rack perfectly folded in half. That doesn't take long. What other ideas can he have? What else can he say?]

You can't see her or hear her.

[Great that sounds perfectly reassuring and sane. Huff. Larry rubs his eyes as though putting it out for someone else to hear pains him....because it does.]

It's my Ma. She's right here.

[He motions to the air once more beside him but there's nothing there at all.]

Fuck. Okay. Fine. Mother this here is.... [Is what, Lawrence? What do you call him? This is highly irregular. There are plenty of women out there who could suit yo--] Shut up. This is Freddy.

[When he came apart at the seams at the warehouse the day everything went to hell Larry thought that was the worse. Maybe he's wrong.]

Freddy. [Brown eyes beg for all he's worth that something can allow the foxy wizard to continue in this leg of the dungeon however deep and dark.] This is [the word my breaks on his lips, he recovers quickly unwilling to fall that fast Ma.

Edited 2011-05-08 07:15 (UTC)

Who.

[Freddy pushes on, wanting to know the name of this person, this...phantom, haunting his Lawrence Dimick. Is it someone he knows? Is it someone he killed? Shit is it someone he once loved? Still loves? What if it's--oh. Oh fuck. No fucking way. Is this the city's idea of a sick fucking joke? Not even sick, it's fucking cruel. Freddy doesn't know what to fucking do at all. Should he say something?

At the very least, Freddy does not think Larry is making shit up. Either she's cursed to be there back from the goddamn dead or he's cursed into hallucinating her. Drugs don't enter the equation for a second.]

Larry...

[He swallows, heart racing. He doesn't know what to say to the dead mother of his closest friend. It all sounds so fucking ridiculous, maybe even demeaning to all those involved.] I can't see her...

[The kid doesn't mean 'therefore you've gone loco' the kid means he doesn't know where to start with Ma.]

[This is where none shall pass. Even though they're standing together in the bathroom of their apartment bearog is trapped alone with whatever wicked enchantment is letting him hear all of these things.

Stand up straight. Stop staring. It's rude.

Lawrence Dimick you got this man shot. Isn't that enough? You let this young man be! He's not a criminal! There are plenty of good members of law enforcement. Shooting them and killing them! You may as well be a communist or a nazi. That's not what this country needs. If only you had joined the army...

His eyes squeeze shut.]

She's in her white and pink flowered church social dress with a darker kinda colored sweater. And her hair and make up is all done up. ...Just like I remember.

[A shake of his head his eyes open.]

[No no no no no don't stop looking. If he stops looking he might lose sight of Freddy and their home altogether. The kid reaches out to place a hand on the old man's shoulder.

I'm still here.

You know, just in case Larry was wondering... His brow furrows over the description Larry paints for him, a handsome woman (he imagines this so because Lawrence Dimick is quite a looker) in her Sunday best. Except the only words that come out of his stupid mouth are:]

You went to church? [No. Stop this right now, Newendyke. Don't talk church with this man or his mother. He shakes his head and looks to the mirror like maybe he'll catch a glimpse of her, her reflection somewhere.]

Come on, come out, let's sit down Larry.

[That touch feels so good. He wants more.

Keep your hands to yourself. Flo Dimick crosses her arms. She can see what's going on. He doesn't know any better. You should!]

Yeah.

[That he should know better. That he attended church as a boy. That he'll go wherever Freddy suggests. Each step is shuffled. Defeated.

There's an idea. It's Sunday. You could find a church. As a matter of fact you could begin a confession. The father attending would be wrapped up for the better part of a day. What are you waiting for? All of those lives torn apart one would think you'd have the slightest bit of heart. It makes no sense you'd have affection for a good officer of the law let alone a man.

In the mirror Freddy may see a glimmer of a Milwaukee homemaker with a broad nose and rather stern looking dark eyes.]

It won't stop.

[The commentary. He sits in a heap now. No he's not shaking and muttering to himself but Larry's face is even more riddled with lines and creases.]

Edited 2011-05-08 08:16 (UTC)

Come on man, take it easy. [And oof to the couch.]

Lemme get you somethin' to drink. [To douse those bearog flames. He's about to make a quick dash to the kitchen when he stops to amend himself.] Water.

[And he's off again. A non-alcoholic beverage because this kid knows in these circumstances, whether she's real or not, that woman would have a lot to say about booze. Freddy never read Larry's whole file, he found the invasion of privacy a little too hard to swallow for someone who took to him so well, but he knows some details. Hell he learned a couple because of this stupid city. Toy cars come to mind.]

Here, Larry. [He's shuffling back with a glass.]

Trying.

[Juggling knives would be about on the same level. At least then you can see each stab.]

Thank you.

[Polite guy that he is always it seems extra careful. You get this kid? He's being watched. Prompted at every turn. What he wouldn't give for a stiff drink and to lay next to Freddy.

The glass is cool and he purposely touches the tips of Freddy's fingers.

Oh, Lawrence. Your father and that good for nothing brother of his. No values. At least with me we had our Sundays. There was hope.]

You can imagine, can't you?

[The things she is saying.]

Sure.

[He nods, Freddy's way of saying 'you're welcome' but he doesn't take a seat himself. This fox hound is on guard, protecting the bear any way he can, whether or not he needs protection from this phantom. For fuck's sake Newendyke that's his mother, don't treat her like a threat. Except look at what her presence is doing to the man. It can't be good. He can't imagine.]

No, I can't. [He's being honest.] You don't have to tell me...

[But Larry can if he wants to, if he needs Freddy to experience it too. With these ears he hears nothing and with these green eyes he doesn't see a thing save for the ugliness its casting on his friend, but he can listen and he can watch out for both of them. Freddy puts his hand on Larry's shoulder again.]

[Larry's hand fits over Freddy's, it's bigger and more rough. He's been a lotta places and seen a lotta things.]

She doesn't think this is right.

[Doe she need to elaborate further? In defiance he gives the hand a squeeze. His face looks stony still.]

I don't wanna be right.

[You cannot know what you're saying.]

[He may act like a flappy dumb blonde at times but Freddy can be a fucking smart guy when it really matters. This falls somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. He's pretty sure he knows what Larry means, it's the action Freddy decides to take in response that's just a tiny bit questionable.]

It wouldn't be the first time some guy's mom swore her son was up to some wrong.

[The kid settles down to sit on the couch, paw still in touch, fitted. He's got his legs semi-draped over Larry's lap. Now it's the bearog being protected from a threat who shall not pass the fox-faced wizard.]

[Honor thy mother and father is about right in his ear now. Larry keeps his eyes on Freddy though lounging on him and their couch. The old man is about as comfortable as he's gonna get. His stance is still rigid when all he wants is to flop on top of that body and lay in the quiet.]

It's about everything. The bathroom's a mess so you know.

[That's supposed to be funny.]

Guess I'm more like my Pop. I dunno how to feel about that. And I should be goin' to church now and spending the night confessing.

Edited 2011-05-08 18:41 (UTC)

Yeah, I know man. I can take half the blame.

[Freddy says so casually as if there wasn't a phantom mother haunting the old man. It's hard not to give a little humor for humor, however ill-timed. Hearing this the kid's got to ask though.]

So your mom's Catholic? Well I'm Catholic too.

[Kinda. The point is shouldn't mom be a little pleased that although he may be a man, a younger man, and a cop, at least he's a nice Catholic boy? His family on his mother's side would be ecstatic.]

Maybe we should get like a cleaner or something.

[A cleaner! You mean a maid! That is a waste of money. You both are perfectly capable of cleaning yourself. The old man smiles and leans his head back against the cushion of the couch.]

I wondered but I didn't know for sure. When I was younger she was really into it. Pop didn't care much for it. He said it made her a hypocrite. Then again he said a lot of things.

[He may be Catholic but that means he'll be doing quite a bit for repentance--] Shuddup, Ma. [Don't take that tone with me. I care about you, son. I love you. That is why I say all of these things. Larry rubs his face huffing a few breaths in and out. Hearing that cuts him right to the core.]

You mean a maid?

[Freddy asks with a quirked brow, unaware of the phantom echo echo echo. Seeing the way Larry struggles to address two different people almost makes him frown. The kid reaches up to guide that hardened jaw towards himself.]

Hey, you don't need to tell me what she's sayin' but if you wanna say somethin', I'm listening.

Yeah. I do. She says it's too expensive and a waste when we could do it ourselves.

[And she is reiterating it after the fact. Larry keeps facing Freddy like looking at him alone will make everything else fall away. It's true he can't see his mother's disapproving face for a few moments until she moves close behind the kid.]

She says you got a good chance since yo'll actually...you know do something about being Catholic. Implying that you're still on the wrong track though. Not quite her wording.

[Larry swallows.]

Ma's tellin' me that all this shit is coming out because she loves me.

[His laugh is so hallow one part because of how much she seethes at more swearing but also because he can't believe this is happening.]

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