14th

[orangetoughguy]

[Shifty sneaky surveillance video is on, showing a seemingly complacent monkey toy creature beast thing sitting on top of a tool box. Your narrator whispers.]

It's still watching me. [The camera pans around...around...and the monkey's head follows.] This shit is so fucked up, I mean really fucked up, an experiment in Romero fuckin' fear fucked up.

[...Arrrrooouuund...a full 180 degrees. THE SCREECHING AND ATTACKING BEGINS. Said narrator shouts "SHIT!" as the camera attempts a hasty retreat. The video feed ends on a tight close up of enraged bulging monkey eyes.]

Comments

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Are you seriously afraid of a toy?

[orangetoughguy]

Are you seriously sayin' you didn't need no fuckin' cat to cover your ass?

[neverplay]

What the fuck is going on?

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Look, the cat sees one, tries to kill it, that's hardly me being afraid of the motherfucker.

[orangetoughguy]

It skipped my mind you're both used to living with loud ugly bastards.

[orangetoughguy]

I was under fuckin' siege.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

I forget you jump at sudden noises and Steelers Wheel songs.

[neverplay]

Where are you right now? Anywhere near something long and hard? Heavy and throwable?

[orangetoughguy]

That's about as funny as a cry for help, asshole.

audio;

[whitetwoguns]

What the fuck?

[orangetoughguy]

In the garage. I took a ratchet to it.

[THIS WOULD BE A PAUSE.]

Don't know where it went.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Hardly my fault it's true.

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

It was watchin' me work, man.

[neverplay]

'course, the last place you'd want it to be.

Watch your back, Orange.

[adamantined]

Maybe if you weren't doing things you weren't supposed to, it wouldn't go all Exorcist on you.

audio;

[whitetwoguns]

That why it's havin' a cow?

[orangetoughguy]

Hardly my fault shit like that gets you laid up.

[orangetoughguy]

Real funny kid, real funny.

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

No.

[Actually he's not sure. Maybe he shouldn't have taken a nap on the backseat they extracted from a broke down van.]

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

That's interesting.

[orangetoughguy]

This bullshit's against union standards.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

I'm pretty sure it was your fault, actually.

[orangetoughguy]

You should've seen the one in the glove box.

[orangetoughguy]

Are you gonna ride my ass on that forever?

[adamantined]

So is using a wrench in an inappropriate way, probably.