orangetoughguy | phone post

[There's no speaking at first, just a series of taps before an odd, parrotlike--okay, not parrotlike, just straight up parrot voice begins singing.]

My birdie brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like, it's better than yours.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I could teach you, but I'd have to chaaaaaaaaaaarge.

Edited 2011-04-30 02:44 (UTC)

[RING RING RING BECAUSE RLY WAT.]

Hello?

Hello! Hello!

[This is the future of three-way calling.]

Are you tryin' to be funny?

[O....kay. Parrot...beast.]

Ha ha ha ha ha

[If only Angela had the balls to strangle a bird.]

Shut up, you. [And now to Freddy.] What are you talking about?

Edited 2011-04-30 03:02 (UTC)

Is that your guy?

[Oh yeah, he went there, except he doesn't really think it's her boyfriend but it's funny to pretend it is.]

Well, he did say he was better than you, so I guess so.

[And it's funny to tease back.]

Hey I have a bigger vocabulary. And I can sing.

Fuck you.

No, I think you two share the same vocabulary.

Who the fuck asked you?

[To the parrot thing. Wait why is he talking to a parrot thing??]

I can be Shakespeare. [Read: he means he can rap.]

[For the same reason he was speaking to a toucan?]

And you would be dead.

[Please, Freddy. You're more Vanilla Ice than Eminem.]

[Sam has way more personality in his opinion. Speaking of.] You hear that Sam? Guy thinks he's some fuckin' comedian, that's bullshit.

[E-e-e-e-ee-e. Yep. Okay he's talking to Angela again.] So what did you get another pet? Finally admitted how supercool it is to have a bird?

Better than yours! Better than yours! Too creepy!

[She may have taught the bird that last one. Maybe. Perhaps. Possibly.]

If I got another pet, I would get something much, much quieter. I woke up with him tied to me.

Suck it, birdbrain. [To the parrot, fff.]

You too huh? I've seen that going around. Kinda weird, I mean have you seen that Hitchcock movie?

Yeah, only those were crows. So far, I haven't see any crows, just parrots, peacocks, and hummingbirds. And toucans that makes creepy noises.

Peacocks won't kill you.

[Actually they probably could but what does Freddy know.] Hey, Sam's no strings attached.

No strings, but definitely creepy noises.

So he's a little different, but he's all affection.

So you get all your kisses from a bird. Freak.

At least my bird puts out a little, what do you get out of a serenade?

Less worrying about who the girlfriend in your relationship really is.

[IF ONLY SHE KNEW.]

Whoa whoa I'm not the girlfriend.

[For the record he's not the girlfriend; he's the wife. Also now he has to thrown in an amendment.]

Nothing's wrong with being "the girlfriend" but seriously.

Did I say there was? I'm just saying that maybe Sam has been this mystery woman all this time.

[WHOOSH right over his head...cause he has more things to hide.]

Sam's a boy.

[Think about what you're saying for a second Freddy.]

And?

[Not that she's hinting at anything, but this is Angela he's speaking to. If anybody knows anything about breaking the gender rules, it's her.]

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