orangetoughguy | log post II

[Sure ain't old world craftsmanship that's for sure. To be honest the couch is showing some wear and tear. Never mind it all that's the goddamn bird in the flesh and feathers! Except he doesn't look so bright eyed.]

See. Knew we'd find him.

[Yay? Except the kid has noticed that Sam seems a little off. Larry's eye catches the glitter of that ice rolling in the bag as well.]

Freddy, he's okay. Just a little hungry probably. We'll get him some water and food. I'm sure he'll perk up. Looks pretty good for dead.

[Paw on the kid. Must be nerves. The whole day he was convinced that the bird was long gone or something crazy.]

[Walk walk, walk. Hop. The first hop doesn't get the bird high enough but the second does, enough for Sam to waddle a bit then curl between the two pillows on the bed. Big bill over its back, tail feathers up. Time to nap again.]

Sam, little dude, are you gonna be okay?

[Freddy strokes the top of the bird's head lightly. The fact that he managed to get up there is a good sign, right? Man he don't even give a shit that there's a little mess in that bag or that Sam's feet tracked a little bit onto his fucking bed. Shit, that paw. He puts his own hand on Larry's to bring it down but not separated. Fingers clasp.]

No man, fuck Larry, I'm so fuckin' sorry. Sam doesn't make ice, he got into the diamonds last week.

I bet he got lost and worked himself up too much. Hell, maybe he didn't know how to get out of the bag.

[That's one tuckered out bird. His eyes are on Sam when he feels Freddy grab his hand. Okay. Pulled along down tho his level.]

You mean...he ate em?

[That poor bird. ...Wait a second.]

Why didn't you tell me?

[Larry sucks a breath in and swallows. This could have been over with in moments. The bird is pesky enough. Of course he'd go and do something like that if given the choice. That fucking bird...and this fucking kid to match it.]

[If toucans could talk this one would tell Lawrence Dimick he's on the right track, but because this one is tuckered out this one's just gonna snooze while those two work things out.]

I didn't know he ate'em until he started droppin' them all over the place. [Exaggeration, this, but the point still stands.] I found him in the closet poking around I didn't know he ate them and then you got all fuckin' excited when he shat one out. I don't know Larry I didn't think it was a big deal cause you really liked him then I didn't know he ate that many.

[Word Vomit Newendyke, at your service.]

[At least the door is shut in case if the bird sleep walks or some shit.]

So. Lemme get this straight. The bird ate the diamonds and you didn't know. He started to drop them in his stool and you didn't say nothin' because I thought some miracle was happening. That right?

[Because it's so simple, so stupid. For a brief moment he feels like well if that's a lie what else is...except that's not how Freddy operates. After all, look how this one is gushing out.]

[Is his breathing getting a little reedy? Well it definitely ain't the bird snoring.]

......Uh huh.

[Well then, Detective Dimick, great work. Freddy just kind of nods, still quite sure Larry has every right to be mad at him for (again) lying. Such a ridiculous lie too and it put his bird in danger. Hell who knows if Sam is really okay? He already plans to take the bird to the vet in the morning or something. Right now though, this moment is reserved for Larry. What vet is open at this hour anyway?]

That's right.

[The paw Freddy Newendyke's got a hold of squeezes back in something of a pulsed beat as he attempts to start. Yeah. It was a lie. Except what's he gonna do, be pissed off? Already there was a price paid. And from the looks of the kid, he's sweating bullets. It hasn't been a bed of roses or a pleasure cruise. That would have been the real point to fume about.]

Fuck, Freddy you don't need to tell me shit that's not true to make me happy. I didn't have no problem with the bird. I told you. No problem. I mean, he makes you happy. That sure as shit counts. I wasn't bothered.

[...and it makes him feel stupid to say because wow. That sure smells of enduring for the kid.]

Your bird might be pretty sick.

[Maybe even die of this. It's apparent who won that popularity contest.]

We should find him some place. There's bound to be something open. What do the animal people do, you know?

[He is sweating bullets, literally, though not out of fear that Larry might get mad--he expects it--just fear that he's put his bird in jeopardy, fear that he can't stop being a damn ruiner. Freddy returns the squeeze in kind. A fucking anchor, this old man.]

I thought it was nice you wanted him around, Larry.

[The amount of treats from one bear paw to one toucan bill practically tripled didn't it? Then again, Newendyke, did Larry really want the bird around or just the fantasy mine you planted in his head? Shit man now's not the time to think in layers like that, this is fucking complicated as is.] I don't--I don't know. There's the hospital. That's all I got.

[Doubtful Lucky's got connections unless Mamba keeps exotics, and not the leggy busty variety either.]

That matter so much to you?

[Because he absolutely believed that bird made diamonds in its bowels. And he told Pink that. It's not the biggest lie he's ever swallowed from Freddy. It doesn't stand even close.]

You coulda said that it'd mean a lot to you if I'd try and make nice or something...

[Woulda coulda shoulda. Now they got the bird right here.]

Want me to check the network? You can sit here with him.

[Hopefully he's not fuckin' dyin'.]

Yeah, it did. It mattered somethin'. [Freddy shakes his head. Obviously he doesn't have to ask the old man not to tell Pink, right? Bad enough he suspects too many things to be true. Don't let him have the satisfaction...unless he happens to know a really good toucan vet. Then the weasel could have anything.] I tried, Larry.

[Another swallow as he looks over Sam, giving the bird another pet to the head. Is it a good or bad sign the toucan's not even trying to nip him to keep away? Don't birds do that when they're not feeling good? Fuck.]

Yeah, okay. [Wait, he squeezes that paw.] Don't tell anyone what he ate. [No shit, Newendyke, like Lawrence Dimick would really be so stupid. Though at least this time it's not about feeling like a dumbass, he'd rather not give anyone an incentive to gut the bird in search of more rocks.]

Finish your beer. Stay with your bird.

[The rest he cannot bring himself to say. It was a lie, a stupid one because he wanted the old bear to be happy with the bird...and be happy with the old bear and the bird. It doesn't warrant a shouting match. Larry's gonna sit this one out and be helpful to Sam.

As for telling. Shit. Really? Does he even need to ask?]

Okay, buddy boy. All I'll say as we got a sick bird. That's it.

[And that's the truth. One more hand squeeze and he's pulling away.]

Okay, Larry. [Freddy nods.] Okay.

[Even though the kid said he'd go to bed that was before they found the dumb beast. Now with Sam's whereabouts known Freddy has other concerns weighing on his mind. Having found someone to take Sam in overnight and keep an eye on the bird, there's nothing else for them to do but wait. They'll get a call, eventually. Who knows what kind of news it's gonna be. He's sitting on the couch sort of slumped over, just staring at the bird's empty cage. The tambourine's gone, left with the toucan to keep its spirits up while they're separated. Freddy feels like a pile of shit and not the kind that yields diamonds.]

[Back home once again. Larry slips off his jacket and drapes it over the back of the couch. Damn. Late already. Almost midnight even.]

I'll be up awhile. You can turn in if you want.

[He looks as though he'll be heading up stairs. Step by step no rush until he pauses near the top and just...stare.]

What're you gonna do?

[Freddy asks without turning towards Larry but after a silent moment he turns in his seat to look at the old man, all the way up to the top of the stairs. He owes it to Larry to look at him, speak to him, listen to him. That man put up with so much already. Green eyes are looking a little cooler, not as caramel. Even at this distance though he can make out the striations in warm brown eyes.]

Shower I guess.

[What to do with the kid. Apologies aren't needed but they're appropriate for something like this aren't they? Larry heaves a sigh and rubs the back of his neck.]

I don't want no fight.

[For Christ's sake everyone's been upset enough for one day. That's apparent.]

I'm real sorry, Larry. [Freddy says quietly, almost inaudible considering the distance between them.] I didn't mean anybody wrong.

[He wronged the bird most by putting Sam's health at risk.]

I didn't want you mad at him cause he's some kinda nuisance, I'm just not good at takin' care of'im.

[There, the kid said it. He's unfit to keep a pet.]

Shut up. The fuck up was with the diamonds. That was the problem.

[You shouldn't have done that. Except the kid already knows. He doesn't need to say. Larry shakes his head waves off the comment either that he made or any retort Freddy will attempt to make.]

Lesson learned. He's gonna be okay.

[Inhale. Exhale. As for Larry, he's not harmed. Angered? A portion. Hurt? Not his wording but true. Touched? Absolutely. This crazy fucked up man doing anything to make things a little right.]

I wasn't mad at him. Didn't I tell you that?

[Did the kid not believe the old man? Huff. Well. He wasn't all that convincing in his way.]

When he went missing today I was worried about the little guy.

[Because if he left so did Freddy's happiness. It's different than losing an opportunity to get something from boxtops.]

[He doesn't wince when Larry tells him to shut up despite wanting to. He respects the old man too much even though sometimes Freddy does dumb shit like this that seems to imply otherwise. Get your freckled ass off the couch, Newendyke. Another breath and Freddy's on his feet then moving up the stairs at a quick but not haphazard pace.]

I know, Larry, and I'm real glad you did. I didn't think you fuckin' wouldn't, you're not that kinda guy, I knew you'd help find him.

[Yet Freddy couldn't 'know' Larry wouldn't have blown a gasket over the diamond digging? He leans against the railing, just one step below Larry.] Let me make it right by you. Please.

[The drive to try and expel his own anger, to try and simmer down is as strong as the other side. Fuck.

Don't say hardened things. He said he was sorry. You're a sorry old man too, ain't you?]

You don't need to. I mean, you apologized already. I know you didn't mean nothing by it all.

[Since they're so close there's no need to raise his voice at all above almost a mumble. He looks to the hand Freddy has at the rail to his face.]

I want to, Larry. I want to stop bein' such a stupid son of a bitch.

[Thinking he could take in such an unconventional pet, keep it happy, keep Larry happy, keep everyone content to live under this roof in some mutant form of idyllic domesticity. You should've known better, Newendyke. He turns to sit on the top step, hands out, palms up.]

I swear to God I'm not tryin' to fuck everything up. I'm not.

[He worries the old man might start believing the kid sabotages things to keep from growing too attached to something so good that he might not have back home.]

You're not fuckin' stupid. I told you. You didn't fuck everything up. Stop. Do that for me, okay? Just stop. We found your bird. I'm glad. He'll be okay. We're rock solid.

[Is Larry trying to convince himself? If he could turn the page on this leg of the story...he would. Talking about it may not get it better. There'll be no fucking tonight as far as he can tell either. The bullshit is too stupid (yeah that is stupid what a way to deflect) to let it ruin it all.

Does Freddy think they need a bird or diamonds to be happy? They don't. It'll happen one way or the other.

The old man takes a seat beside the kid. Might take a bit of squeezing. Scoot. Move it. He rakes his fingers through his own hair.]

[He's about to argue Larry on that point but for once Freddy keeps his mouth shut. It's what his room mate...something or other guy...wants, not that he stops talking but that he stops talking about this. Freddy's not dense, he knows that. Would it count if these green eyes do the talking for him? Scoot scoot, he makes room for the old man and just looks at him. These eyes are saying:

I'm so fucking sorry please forgive me, if you forgive me maybe someone up there will see to it Sam still has a good chance to live the rest of his days as a happy toucan.]

[A meaty forearm comes to rest along Freddy's thigh and a hand touches at his knee. He sees those green eyes and they way they look at him as though asking for punishment or permission to speak more apologies or promises for amends.]

It's been a long day, cowboy.

[That's about all that can be said about that. Larry's head leans just so to touch hear his shoulder. He's not going to lean but this close maybe the kid can see this is what matters. And this is what makes it hurt so much that the kid believes that little fibs can make this any better than it already is.]

[Maybe a part of him seeks a little punishment from Larry because Sam himself can't dish it. Stop that Newendyke, stop being such a fucking fool for everyone's approval. The weight on his thigh feels so good and still feels undeserved, but he won't push it away because Larry does what he wants. Larry still wants to touch him. Freddy appreciates that.]

Yeah....

[A freckled arm snakes out to curl around the old man's waist, pulling him flush up against the kid so Freddy can be the one to lean in instead, face to the crook of Larry's neck. If he'll allow it.]

I hope he's gonna be okay. [Because if the toucan dies he'll be taking along a little piece of Freddy's own confidence with him.]

[Oh, he'll allow it. Larry isn't a heartless man. He wants any touch he can get still after all this time. They can only touch each other in privacy. There are so many hours in a day too. He'll take whatever he can get. Being skin to skin even now makes him sigh.

What a mess, Sam. Is it easy to at least be sick and not know why? That's complicated enough as it is right now.]

The doc will take care of everything. Wait and see.

[Experience has lead Larry to know when it's alright to take liberties on the truth without any proof. Times like now it's okay. Freddy needs certainty. The refrigerator hums in the quiet that settles. It's nice to sit this way. No words.

Very nearly midnight now.]

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