orangetoughguy

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14th

[Shifty sneaky surveillance video is on, showing a seemingly complacent monkey toy creature beast thing sitting on top of a tool box. Your narrator whispers.]

It's still watching me. [The camera pans around...around...and the monkey's head follows.] This shit is so fucked up, I mean really fucked up, an experiment in Romero fuckin' fear fucked up.

[...Arrrrooouuund...a full 180 degrees. THE SCREECHING AND ATTACKING BEGINS. Said narrator shouts "SHIT!" as the camera attempts a hasty retreat. The video feed ends on a tight close up of enraged bulging monkey eyes.]

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I don't think she is and maybe I got her pegged wrong but I'm willing to bet that kinda blow comes a little harder when you're cherry. Were cherry.

I had the week off. [Thanks, Saya.] I talked your girl Eden out of greeting you with a grenade. [You're welcome, fff.]

You've got her pegged wrong. But this is the second time you've taken a running jump at the wrong conclusions, so I can't say I'm surprised. Want to lecture me about my life? The more people you get close to the more there are to get hurt when someone catches on to what you're about. Maybe you should look at that.

Whatever makes you sleep easy at night, big man.

Nobody's gonna catch on to what I'm about if you keep your mouth shut.

[There's a phone dialling in the background. Quiet ringing at the other end of the line.]

No, nobody's going to find out if you find someone else to waste your time gossiping about.

Not everything's about you, doc.

You've bothered me, questioned half the people I know, and harassed my girlfriend over our personal life. That's what I'd like you to stop.

[And the other line picks up. His voice warms.]

Hey.

Tell all the people you know don't come to me either if you can say it without usin' my gun as a crutch.

Without the guns, I'd have a lot less problem with them coming to you. Actually, I'd just have a lot less problem with you.

[And it's Claire's voice, small but recognisable.]

Are you talking to who I think you're talking to?

Yeah, Orange had a few more honesty issues he wanted to clear up. Should I ask you now or just email you the recording?

At least I'm not a fuckin' vampire or Morlock.

[The Marvel Universe kind. He mutters this part more only because he's already got an idea what comes next. Oh look it's Claire.]

Hey girl.

Wait... what? What honesty issues? Am I on threeway?

You're on the phone, he's on the network. And he thinks it's important I share with you that we might not be together for the rest of our lives. I wanted to get that cleared up so that he can take a step back with peace of mind.

...Okay. Well. It's only been like a month so this isn't really a big surprise to me, but thanks for clearing it up?

Great. Sorry I had to bother you with it. [He leans back toward the device.] Anything else? Or can we agree that we've both gratified you with enough.

[Really, Chase? Really?? That's dirty pool, though clever. Because that's not what he meant goddamn.]

You're an asshole, doc.

[Now he talks to Claire.] I can't talk to you anymore, girl. Sorry.

She's not a phase. Next time you're playing chinese whispers you might want to ask me what the original was. She's...

[No, back to Claire, and the phone.] You're nineteen. I'm not going into this looking for it to end, but I'm not expecting it to be the one big thing for you, either. If that did happen... I like to think it would be taking both of us by surprise. And you know I'm not suggesting you can't talk to anyone you want, as long as you want to.

[That last is practically an eyeroll in itself.]

[On Claire's part, this is said loud and clear enough for Freddy, too.]

I know no one goes into a relationship expecting it to end but I know most people don't go into one thinking it's going to be the end-all, be-all, either. I think we're on the same page about that. And you said from the beginning that you hoped I had someone to talk to, and I'm pretty sure I'm capable of picking and choosing without someone holding my hand through the process or deciding who and when for me, so I know you aren't suggesting that. And I do, for the record, it's just not one end of a crowded phone call.

[When did this become a daytime TV talk show? Freddy huffs.] I didn't sign up to play your couples therapist, whatever you're sayin' now you sure as hell weren't sayin' it before. And no I'm not gonna ask her if you're the first guy to sleep with her, you can ask her yourself cause I doubt she wants me to hear it.

[He puts that out there first before addressing Claire.] I can't talk to you cause I'm a cop. I'm undercover and anything you say can and will be used against you if I'm ratted out to someone who's not gonna think twice about bruising on my acquaintances to get to me. I don't care how 'unbreakable' you are, it's the people who know you you gotta worry about so yeah I get why you're so private, cause I'm stuck in the same place. Now I'm too close to being compromised [In the garage no less.] and that can't happen. I'm not gonna die. Sorry, girl.

[This is the end of the line sort of but since he's not really on the phone so to speak there's no click.]

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14th

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