14th

[orangetoughguy]

[Shifty sneaky surveillance video is on, showing a seemingly complacent monkey toy creature beast thing sitting on top of a tool box. Your narrator whispers.]

It's still watching me. [The camera pans around...around...and the monkey's head follows.] This shit is so fucked up, I mean really fucked up, an experiment in Romero fuckin' fear fucked up.

[...Arrrrooouuund...a full 180 degrees. THE SCREECHING AND ATTACKING BEGINS. Said narrator shouts "SHIT!" as the camera attempts a hasty retreat. The video feed ends on a tight close up of enraged bulging monkey eyes.]

Comments

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

That toy packs a hard punch.

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

Are you scared of a little toy?

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

The toy's alive you know. Ain't you ever seen Child's Play?

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

I did and I still regret it to this day.

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

Then you know what the fuck I'm talking about, you can't turn your back on this.

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

I put mine in the closet and barricaded the door. I don't think even Chucky can get through a bookcase and an easy chair.

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

You wanna bet?

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

Actually, yes. Yes, I do.

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

They burn the son of a bitch, Karen shoots him up, and Chucky still comes after them with a knife stabbing it straight through the door.

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

You're making that up. I'm not paying you anything.

[Because somebody didn't last halfway through the movie to know that he's probably telling the truth.]

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

I'm not making up jack.

[He's totally not.]

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

Right. I don't believe you.

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

Do I have to make you watch it?

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

I'm not watching Child's Play. No way in hell.

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

He shoots and he scores.

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

I don't trust you. I'll go ask someone else to confirm this.

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

I'll be waiting to hear your findings.

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

The findings that call you out on your crazy lies? Right now, the monkey should be banging away for you.

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

I thought you liked me.

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

Who told you that lie?

[She's totally joking.]

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

[Well in that case...]

The monkey, it's gonna get a real beatin' now.

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

Before or after you run screaming from it again?

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

After.

[NO SHAME IN ADMITTING IT.]

audio;

[thenormalsquint]

That kind of lessens the impact, sweetheart.

audio;

[orangetoughguy]

At least I won't be dead by stupid toy monkey.